How much longer?

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

I don’t know whether stupidly or not but have given myself until December to try and conceive after an ectopic and miscarriage - it was more about the strain on my mental health every month when ovulation kicks in the pressure to try to conceive and the period that follows it’s more depressing each month.

At the moment there seems no end to this depressed feeling I don’t even know if trying to make the decision to stop trying would help but it’s been 8 months now since ectopic and things feel worse maybe it’s the fact it’s taking longer and longer and times ticking by and there’s nothing I can do.

Anyone out there who made the decision to stop? How to almost come to terms with possibly not having a successful pregnancy.

2

Hi LTQKVS,

I’m so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. Our experiences represent both physical and emotional trauma and leave us with many questions and feelings.

It is positive that you were able to become pregnant, even though it resulted in an ectopic pregnancy, which is no fault of your own. It’s very natural to feel anxious about TTC after an ectopic pregnancy. Anxious over what might happen and what might not. It’s challenging to wait each month to see if you are pregnant, and I know that waiting and expectation can take their toll.

You may have read this on our Boards already, but so many factors contribute to becoming pregnant. It may provide some comfort to know that it is usually possible to conceive successfully after having an ectopic pregnancy. However, the time it generally takes varies considerably from couple to couple. Approximately 65 percent of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of ectopic pregnancy, and some studies show this rises to around 85 percent after two years.

There are also good news stories on this board. And there are stories of women who have decided to stop trying, precisely as you said, for the sake of their mental health. I don’t think I ever “relaxed” after my ectopic pregnancies. I carried the nervousness with me into future pregnancies, but I also knew that medical care was there to support me. I also was more in tune with my body and its signals. I want to give you hope that it’s possible, but to take it in your own time. I was 32 when I had two ectopics in one year, and I did go on to conceive over a year later and then seven years later.

Be kind to yourself; take things in your own time and as it feels good. When you have questions about your body, get medical advice and advocate for yourself. We are here for you anytime, for as long as you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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