TTC feeling heartbroken every month my period arrives

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
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I had an ectopic in March and lost my left fallopian tube.

We started to try conceive again in June and just had our 3rd cycle trying, really thought it was our month this month and I’ve just started my period.

I know that’s not a long amount of time TTC but every month I just feel heartbroken that we haven’t conceived. We are doing everything correct so what’s going wrong? I then worry that it’s not going to happen.

We conceived 1st month trying with my ectopic so that’s always in the back of my mind.

I just don’t know how to keep going through this month after month when it could take years to get pregnant, it’s exhausting.

Thanks for letting me share on this safe space.

Leah xx

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Dear Leah,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss and your continued worries.

I very much understand that strong desire to conceive. I appreciate how frustrating it can be if it isn’t happening as quickly as we would like. Conceiving successfully can take time and can take some couples more than a year or so.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

In addition, having regular sex means having sex every 2/3 days throughout the month. Guidance from the UK’s National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence advises that having sex around the time when the woman ovulates causes stress and is not recommended. We here at the EPT suggest having intercourse 2/3 times between days 10-20 of their cycle when trying to conceive. We also have information on our website on trying to conceive here:

https://ectopic.org.uk/physical-recover … ive-again/

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

It’s not that there is anything going wrong, it’s just very early days. Be kind to yourself.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

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Hi Leah,

Just wondering if you had any update on your ttc journey? I visited this site today as I just started my period and am feeling down. Had an ectopic with left tube removed in Oct 2021 and so much of what you wrote in your post resonated with me.

Really hoping that you’ve concieved your rainbow :rainbow: and if not I’m hoping that it’s on it’s way to you very soon. x