First pregnancy - ectopic. Searching for hope that I'll be able to conceive a viable pregnancy

My husband and I were delighted when we found out we were pregnant. Also terrified too- as I am sure first time parents should feel. But, at 7 weeks I found myself in the ER being told that it was ectopic. This past Monday they administered methotrexate and I had my 4 day blood test today. I am terrified that this isn’t working and also desperate to be a mum. I know I have to wait 3 months to try again, and I need that time mentally and physically, but hitting “pause” on this is really hard. My body and heart are just aching. How can I get through the next 3 months?

I am also scared this will happen to me again. The only comfort I can find right now is that other women have been able to carry a future pregnancy ok. I just hope I can be like this in the future. I wonder if the anxiety ever goes away?

I hope this message makes sense. It helps to write this all down.

Hi gcoward,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this worrying time. Putting yourself first right now and looking after your health and wellness is important. I know it can be difficult, and we want things to move quickly and resume our normal life. An ectopic pregnancy is a physical and emotional trauma, and it’s natural to want it to pass. I’m glad you are being looked after, and I encourage you to continue to monitor your symptoms and reach out to your doctors whenever something doesn’t feel right.

It’s very natural to feel anxious about ttc after an ectopic pregnancy. Anxious over what might happen and what might not. It’s difficult to wait each month to see if you are pregnant, and I know that waiting and expectation can take their toll.

There are so many factors that contribute to becoming pregnant. It may provide some comfort to know that it is usually possible to conceive successfully after having an ectopic pregnancy, though the time it generally takes varies considerably from couple to couple. Approximately 65 percent of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of ectopic pregnancy and some studies show this rises to around 85 percent after two years.

I found that the first few months were the hardest, as I didn’t fully understand why it happened to me. Slowly, the darkest clouds lifted, and I began to have some ok days and even some good days again sometimes. Recovery is not always a smooth path, however. With time though, I began to accept what had happened, and although we never forget, it is something that is a part of us that we learn to live with.

You know your body the best, and while the hCG levels are decreasing, it’s important to be mindful of your symptoms until you reach non-pregnant levels under 5mIU/mL, as there is, unfortunately, still a chance of rupture. The symptoms of a deteriorating ectopic pregnancy, which include worsening or progressively increasing pain; vaginal bleeding; shortness of breath; feeling faint; and pain in the tip of the shoulder, among others, may become noticeable. If you suffer any of these symptoms, you will need to be reassessed. Your hospital would give you a number to contact for health advice if you feel that anything is changing, or you will have been told to report to the Accident and Emergency Department (A&E). If you have not been told what to do and need to speak to someone, ring the hospital department which is treating you or the NHS 111 Service by dialling 111.

No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need us. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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