Hello everyone. I am 22 years old and 3 days post op from removing my ectopic pregnancy. This was my first pregnancy. My husband and I both desperately want a baby. So I know we are supposed to wait three months. They were able to save my tube so that is one thing we’ve got going for us. I guess what I’m looking for is some of your success stories to hold me over until my 3 month waiting period is up
Dear RayRay94,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It I a slow process - might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
It maybe of some comfort to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
As a gentle reminder regarding conceiving again, we and many medical professionals advise waiting for two menstrual cycles. It is important to allow time for your body to recover and emotions to surface and be worked through. This is so that you have some comfort that your body is returning to its natural rhythm and you have a last menstrual period date from which to date a new pregnancy - key information in checking you are not suffering from an ectopic pregnancy in the future. The first bleed soon after surgery for ectopic pregnancy is not classed as a period as it is the body’s response to falling hormone levels.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.
Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific TTC board you can look at too whenever feel ready.
Sending much love,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
This is my first etopitc pregnancy aswell. I hope your recovering well from.your surgery. You must be exhuasted physically amd mentally as i know i am. Take care xx
Just lost my first baby i was about 8 weeks pregnant rushed to hospital with stomach pains three days ago and they did an emergency operation to remove the baby and my left tube. Not to mention the physical pain which is awful I am also in so much emotional pain I feel do empty, lost, sad and vulnerable is this normal?
I had an ectopic pregnancy in September, it was my first pregnancy and we had been trying for a few months. We were devastated. I was the same I had an operation but was lucky enough to keep my tube also! I know the wait seems long but I am coming to the end of mine now and I think it’s the right thing to do. I feel in such a good place. I never thought I would ever feel my old self again. But time is the best healer, I feel like I can go into my next pregnancy feeling positive and not so sad about the whole situation. The hospital have asked me to go in tomorrow to discuss everything with them which I wasn’t expecting and can’t wait to fire off 55 questions at them!! Wish you so much luck and sending so much love at this horrible time. You really are not alone! Things get so much better - I promise!! Xxx
Hi everyone,
I’m new here so hopefully I’m doing this correctly. First of all I am so sorry for everyone’s loss. It’s truly awful. I’m so happy I found this forum because I have felt so alone and it’s hard not having anyone to talk to that has been through it. On October 23 (just 5 and a half weeks ago) I was 8 weeks pregnant and started having terrible stabbing abdominal pains which radiated to my shoulders. I went into the ER when the pain didn’t subside. It was my first ultrasound where we saw our baby’s hearbeat (171bpm) but also learned that our baby was ectopic and my left Fallopian tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. It was so traumatic. I was rushed into surgery where they took my tube as it was completely damaged. I lost half my blood volume and it’s taken me a month to regain the appropriate blood volume. I’m so sad all the time. I’m truly so devastated and don’t know how to feel better. I’m so afraid and keep having flashbacks of the OR. I have never been so vulnerable and so scared in my life. My husband has been supportive but it’s different because he didn’t physically go through it. Has anyone else experienced this? We want a baby so badly but I can’t seem to move forward. Any advice would be appreciated.
Dear Catmc1,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety, flashbacks and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
We are here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.