HELP!

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1

Hi all.

I had an ectopic pregnancy few months ago and had to have emergency

surgery. My pregnancy and right tube were removed unfortunately but ‘physically’

I have recovered well. Emotionally, we’ll it’s a different story!

The reason being is…it was hard enough having to deal with having the ectopic pregnancy but

the morning after my op the midwife on the ward came to see me and asked

me what I’d like to do with everything that was removed from me surgically?

I did not understand what she was talking about at first but apparently

now you have the option of taking home your unborn baby to have a

burial/cremation or you can chose to leave it with them and they will do

either option themselves. I was blown away as I had never heard of this

procedure before and it was just all too much to take in.

I needed to speak to my husband first as I was numb and of course we

decided to do the burial ourselves. I had to fill in paperwork which was

very much like a death certificate in order to take my baby home. Please don’t

be confused, I was between 9 -12 weeks pregnant and didn’t understand what

was going on but this pregnancy was a life that we made and this life was

our ‘baby’, I can’t call it anything else.

We were told that I’d receive a call in 2 weeks and we could go up and

collect our baby and do what we wished.

5 weeks went by and we didn’t hear nothing…we’d made all our plans,

didn’t need anything official as we were less than 24 weeks pregnant but we

needed to do this for some closure. Rang the hospital and I was told there

was nothing to come back after their tests had been done and that was the

end of that!

I’m heart broken by it all, at no stage did anyone say to me that there was

a chance that this could happen. If they had then I would have taken my

baby there and then. I would like to know if this has happened to anyone

before or have you ever heard of it as I’m just mind blown by it all and

can’t believe it has happened, and if I’ll ever recover from it.

Sorry if my story sounds as if I’m baffling but that is literally how I

feel.

Thank you x

2

Willow123,

I am so very sorry to hear that you have had to endure such confusion during your recovery. As you said, recovery is both physical and emotional. I can only imagine how confusing and frustrating this situation has been.

Yours is the first story I’ve heard of the complications of this situation. I have heard in passing about the opportunity to bury the unborn baby, but not the specifics. You may find that you want to share your experience via the Patient Advice and Liaison Service or PALS. If it is a new procedure for the hospital, it’s important for them to have feedback on where it goes wrong. You can find your local PALS here and it may be an avenue which can help:

http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Patien … Search/363

Ectopic pregnancies can be emotional rollercoasters, and I know that situations like yours are unlikely to help. Please do continue to look after yourself and know that we are here for you during these times.

With good wishes,

Michele

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

3

Hello Willow - I’ve only just joined today after finding out this week i have an ectopic pregnancy.

I am so so sorry to hear. That is utterly heartbreaking. It doesn’t make sense. You need an explanation… closure… in person.Contact PALS at the hospital. They should arrange an urgent appointment to discuss. It is unacceptable how they have managed such a sensitive issue. You will have so many questions, which need to be answered. I’m so sad for you, and wish you the much needed support. Sending much love x

4

Thank you both,

There is an investigation into everything as we put a letter in…not so much of a complaint but just stressing what happened and how it’s made me feel.

Yes I need answers and definitely closure but to be honest with you, there isn’t anything they can say or do that’ll make me feel better about it all. I need to forgive them (for myself) but I’m struggling with that a moment.

Apparently this service has been going on for about 15 years, but I honestly never heard of it before.

I want their protocol changed, they need to hear how it affects people and what they’ve done is wrong and very painful.

I haven’t heard of this happening to anyone, if there is anyone out there then I would love to speak to them.

I now wait to see what the hospital come back to me with, if I don’t feel comfortable with their reply then I will be taking it further.

Thank you for replying.

God bless.

Willow123