On 13-09-2023 I had my operation to remove my tube and baby, after the operation I had to fill a form in about what I wanted to do with the remains and at the time I didn’t want to know about it I was in so much shock so I said for them to be cremated as a group and they would be scattered at the crematorium. I really regret that decision now I wish I had took the ashes home with me I feel like I’ve not got any closure and like I’ve neglected my angel baby.
I am so sorry for your loss and that you are left feeling this way. I can empathise having had surgery this week to remove my tube and pregnancy that the decision and filling forms as you’re being rushed to theatre is all really traumatic and difficult.
Please know you have not let your Angel down. They are still in your heart and you can honour them and remember them in a way that feels right to you.
Sending hugs 
Dear buckly,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss. I cannot agree with Enfys more, at the time of surgery, you can have so much to think about in an emergency situation. You really aren’t given the time to consider all of your options. From the bottom of my heart, you have done nothing wrong and not let your baby down at all.
If you wanted more information, you could ask the hospital chaplains where the ashes usually get scattered which may give you a space to visit if you wished.
There are many ways in which we can honour our loved ones and our shop also has items like teddy’s or candles. You could plant something in a garden, I have a bracelet with a stone for the month I experienced my ectopic pregnancy.
Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be a completely overwhelming time. You cannot be blamed for decisions made in emergency circumstances, so please be kind to yourself.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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I did not even know that they gave people an option to keep the remains??? Mine was only about 8 weeks but I would have loved to bury it? I was just telling my husband yesterday that I just hope that they didn’t sell it on the black market. Why the heck didn’t they give me an option? Is that just a UK thing? I’m in the US
Dear tillie,
As we are a UK based charity we can only comment on usual practice here. In the UK, the medical team will usually discuss what happens to the pregnancy that has been removed. The pregnancy tissue is usually sent to a laboratory for investigations called a histopathology which includes checking for a rare type of pregnancy called a molar pregnancy. Once the laboratory has done this, the remains will be sensitively disposed of, according to patient wishes and options available at the hospital.
Most hospitals in the UK have a method of sensitively dealing with remains, and I would advise speaking to your hospital to find out their policy if this is something you wish to know.
There are also lots of other ways you can commemorate and remember your baby and we have a few ideas on our page here which you may find helpful.
https://ectopic.org.uk/commemoration-and-remembrance Best wishes, Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team