Help needed. My story

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1

Hello everyone I am new to this

I currently am 25 year old and have a 6 year old daughter from my previous relationship.

I have been with my partner now for nearly 3 years and we discussed kids but it was a if it happens then it happens kind of chat which we both were happy with.

Wednesday 5th April I had light spotting… my period was on time on 21st March so I never thought anything of it. By thursday I was doubled over in pain cramping and back pain sore breasts and nausea. I thought before going to my doc I better take a test. Within seconds it came back positive. I was over the moon! My boyfriend doesnt have any kids so he was pretty scared but I knew the pain I was in was abnormal so on the friday I took a trip to the doctor. They sent me to the hospital and I had bloods taken. By saturday I had an appointment for a scan as they presumed I was having a miscarriage. My mother had an ectopic which ruptured so I knew what the symptoms were and discussed my concern with the doc.

So sunday came I attended my scan to be told no baby in the uterus :frowning: they could see a suspicious growth near my left ovary which could possibly be the pregnancy and they would need to operate or give me the injection to dissolve the pregnancy.

I opted for surgery and had this on Tuesday. Woke up to them saying that my left tube was swollen but the pregnancy was not there that they could see and they think my bodys removed it by itself. So I still have both my tubes.

I have to go back today (thursday) for bloods to ensure my hormone levels are coming down if not I have to receive the jag aswell and attend regular appointments at the hospital.

Has anyone else been through a similar story?

My partner is worried that they have missed it as it was close to my ovary and that it may rupture if they refuse to give me the injection?

Also… as it has all happened so quickly how do you guys cope? My partner is deciding to class it as well we werent actively trying so it never happened whereas I am heartbroken that we lost our baby when he/she was so wanted and loved :cry:

Thanks guys

Zoe x

2

Dear Zoe,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings of heartbreak are completely normal.

We hear from many women whose ​husband’s do not feel the same level of loss following ectopic pregnancy. My partner also said that he was more concerned about me and felt little sense of loss and although friends and family were well-meaning they didn’t truly understand how I felt. Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

I am not medically trained so cannot comment on the specific details of your surgery, however I am aware that during surgery the area is usually fully investigated. I understand your worry that the pregnancy was not located, but it is reassuring to hear that they are following you up with regular blood tests.

Although I do not wish to alarm you, I would remain vigilant and if you experience worsening abdominal pain, shoulder tip pain or feel dizzy and unwell, please seek urgent medical advice.

We would also advise that you do not undertake any strenuous exercise or lifting or housework while your hCG levels are dropping and you should not resume exercise until your hCG levels are falling consistently and are in the low 100s.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

We are all here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.