New to forum- devastated by ectopic pregnancy

Main Board
1

:cry:

Hi, I’ve never used a forum before but feel as though I need to talk to others that understand :frowning:

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 5 years but sadly with no luck due to my PCOS, the past year we had been getting help by ovulation induction medication but still no luck! So our next step was IVF which was due to start at the beginning of April, but by some miracle we fell pregnant!! After taking 4 home pregnancy tests confirming pregnancy only last week we were over the moon however I started having pains on my right side by the end of last week and saw the doctor as didn’t seem right! After an appointment with him he congratulated us and said that they were only uterus stretching pains… which I thought was wrong as how was it only on one side!

By Tuesday I started spotting and called doctor through fear of miscarriage, he arranged HCG test and confirmed that my level was increasing however my bleeding got worse. As it was good Friday and levels were given to me over the phone he asked me to go straight to A&E for an examination. After exam the emergency doctor was sure it was a miscarriage and asked me to return on Saturday for ultrasound to find out as hopefully baby was still on board as possible some woman have periods during pregnancy.

So yesterday my husband and I went for our scan with fingers and toes crossed for all good news but was devastated to find out that our very long awaited pregnancy was ectopic! Next thing I know I’m being rushed to theatre as my right Fallopian tube was about to rupture and be removed!

My husband and I are completely heartbroken, and are furious that things weren’t monitored more seriously after expressing concerns a week prior. Even though our pregnancy was short lived, there is just a huge feeling of grief, loss and almost disbelief that this has happened.

2

I feel your pain . I had gallbladder removed on 18th march not knowing I was pregnant and Jue to pain of healing thought that’s y I was in so much pain … found on I was pregnant which I had lost a baby at 38 weeks still born and 3 miscarriages it came as a shock a happy shock . Last Monday I was in so much pain and went to epu my bloods came back as 6+ weeks but as was on scan table my tube bust next min was on a table being put to sleep , no one explains how u ment to feel after this I have lost a tube a baby and nearly my life I cry I scream at times wish I had not made it ( selfish I no ) it’s not even been a week yet and I’m home on bed rest having to wear Nora batty stockings and have injections every day to stop clots … all I can say is I hope things get better and we find a way to see the other side but with ragging hormones and no expectations it’s hard … keep your chin up u r not alone x

3

Dear Crystal-CW92,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, it can be completely overwhelming and I will do my best to help.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

As we are a charity I’m afraid we are unable to comment on treatment given by Dr’s and hospitals but if you are concerned about any aspect of your care I would advise contacting the Patient Advice Liaison Service (PALS) within your hospital. They are an impartial service and will be able to review your care.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the very early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

We advise that you should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

It is common for women to feel isolated following ectopic pregnancy. Many women, including myself find that whilst well-meaning, friends and family don’t truly understand how we feel. Please feel free to continue to use the forums for advice and support from those who truly understand how you feel.

We are all here for you and for you too loopysue,

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.