Hello

Hi Everyone

I’ve just got home from hospital & I’m feeling so…I really don’t know what I’m feeling. Just over a week ago I found out I was pregnant for the first time in my life. My husband & I had been trying for years with no success so we were over the moon. Almost immediately I started bleeding & a scan showed I was miscarrying. We were devastated. I came home feeling broken but within hours I was in A&E in the most horrific pain. I waited 7 hours to get a place on a ward & the pain & bleeding got worse. They planned to send me home but decided to do another scan to make sure everything had passed. It was then they discovered free fluid in my pelvis & a ‘mass’. Within an hour I was in Theatre, it was all so quick I didn’t have a chance to take it all in. They removed the ectopic & my Left Fallopian tube. I didn’t sleep for the next 36 hours due to the pain & because I have bipolar when things get stressful sleep is the first thing to deteriorate. I came home last night & slept for 13 hours after they gave me a strong sedative. I’ve woken up this afternoon feeling so confused & lost. I just feel numb emotionally & in so much pain physically. I feel like I should be feeling loss or sadness but I honestly feel nothing, is this normal?

I just can’t get my head around everything that has happened. Sorry for the long post, just felt like I need to get it all out on paper so to speak x

Hi there…had surgery a month a go…first pregnancy, ectopic and left tube removed! I cried my heart out before surgery… afterwards I went numb emotionally…couldn’t cry because of the pain I was in…when the physical pain after 3 weeks went away my emotions are exhausting me! I want a baby but the thought of having another ectopic is killing me! You’re in my thoughts xxxx Have you had any risk factors? and how old are you?

Thank you Virgo. I’m 33, not sure if I had any other risk factors. I’ve never been pregnant before or had any other investigations so this came completely out of nowhere. I’m still getting a lot of chest/shoulder pain from the laparoscopy and my breathing isn’t great either. I know these are expected but I’m still convinced I’ve got a pulmonary embolism, I see these all the time at work so it’s worrying me. I’m a natural worried anyway which doesn’t help! x

If you’re worried about the pain visit your doctor or go to hospital again! However it took me a week for the chest/shoulder pain to go away. I couldn’t get up from bed without assistance and it was very painful to do so. I lied flat on my back with loads of pillows behind my head for a week! I am 30 years old…didn’t they offer the mtx shot? In my country they opt for surgery in these cases…wish I had a choice!

No I think it was such a rush cos they’d missed the ectopic on the first scan on the Wednesday morning. when they saw it on the scan on Friday afternoon I was in Theatre within the hour. I knew the pain I was in wasn’t right but they just kept giving me painkillers. I’m pretty angry about my care to be honest but it’s tricky as I’m an employee of the Trust x

:frowning: u might have been rushed for surgery as it was an emergency! I heard of people who ended up in ITU because of an ectopic…I had continuous blood tests for 3 weeks showing a non viable pregnancy. At one point numbers were getting low and they thought it was a miscarriage…suddenly levels got higher and higher! I was bleeding/ spotting for 3 weeks before surgery! I was in no pain… Scans were showing no fluid in uterus so I was not bleeding internally…it took 4 transvaginal scans to finally identify where the pregnancy was! I am angry for being left 3 weeks…an ectopic is high risk…because I was in no pain but just bleeding I was sent home during the first two weeks but I attended for monitoring every other day. I am angry at how they couldn’t instantly determine it was ectopic. I knew before them what I had…then they left me for 5 days in hospital before surgery. Doctors seemed to be doing their best but there is still a lot of ignorance on the topic even by professionals at least where I live! To make matters worse I was given a booklet on miscarriage instead of on ectopic! In this booklet ectopic pregnancy wasn’t even mentioned :frowning:

I feel exactly the same, just don’t see how they didn’t pick it up sooner. I was also given a miscarriage booklet & sent home. As a Radiographer I know diagnosis isn’t an exact science but I do feel my Fallopian tubes & ovaries were not adeqUtely visualised on my initial scan (which included a TV scan) they seemed to only look at my uterus. I had a total of 7 scans before it was definitively diagnosed. I’m most angry about how long it took to get adequate pain relief in A&E. I was doubled over crying in agony & vomiting And was left on a chair in the waiting room for over 3 hours until I got to see a doctor. Thankfully it was a Consultant I knew & she immediately got me on a trolley & gave me IV morphine. I’m definitely going to go through the liaison service to get some answers. The hospital is a specially designed emergency care hospital yet they were not able to give me even basic care x

You have so many similarities :slight_smile: hope we keep in touch! Do you intend to get pregnant again one day? I do although its early but I’m so scared same thing happens again!

Hi Claire, sorry to your news. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy in June this year, after finding out we was pregnant in May we were overjoyed unfortunately the happiness didn’t last long.

I lost quite a bit of blood with mine, I’m so glad they caught it when they did it was so painful.

I was in quite a lot of pain after, as they fill you with gas not sure if you have experienced this yet? 5 months down the line and I still think about it.

Now I have been referred for more tests I will have to have another laparoscopy and the the HSG test.

Did you have a tube removed?

Yes I definitely want to have children in the future, it’s all I’ve wanted for so long. My best friend & I have both been trying & we actually found out we were expecting on the same day. We were so excited & we’re sharing symptoms etc. Now I feel so sad that we can’t go on this journey together but I’m so happy for her.

Lozza yes I had the gas & I think the pain from that has been the worst actually. Still in pain 48 hours in my shoulder & I can’t lie flat or on my sides. They took my tube during the operation. The department where I work actually does HSG’s so I’ve seen them being done x

It is towards the 4th week post surgery that I could lie on my side…I slept face up for four weeks…Now I’m slowly turning sideways…put pillows under yr head, neck and upper back to help with the pain. My surgery was on the 2nd October.

DId you have the chest & shoulder pain from the gas? This might be tmi but bring on codeine I haven’t been to the loo for 4 days :expressionless:

*being not bring

yes I had shoulder pain from the gas! It lasted a week! It was very painful. I did’t take any painkillers. It:s uncomfortable but it will pass. Regarding going to the loo…I couldn’t poop! It’s grouse explainig my experience…well what helped was buying a box of glycerine suppositories and I also injected some olive oil in my anus…sorry for the info I know it’s ridiculous but I know how painful it is and I intend to help and share what worked for me. The poop was so hard and painful to pass!

Hi

I am so sorry your loss. I sadly suffered an ectopic pregnancy which was eventually disgnosed on Wednesday. The following morning i had keyhole surgery and my right tube removed. The pain afterwards was so painful i ended up staying i hospital an extra night so i could be given oral morphine, it was all the gas. The pain was all under my ribs and sternum and shoulders. I cried all night prior to my operation. Afterwards i also was unable to due to the pain and not being able to breathe easily. I to now feel no emotion towards it and not sure if thats because i got it all out of my system or because I am just not facing whats happened.

I am 36 and have already had a premature birth and now not sure i can face this worry on top of a higher risk of pre term birth.

The treatment, care and support from my hosptial was awful, i didnt even recieve a leaflet. I was so upset by this i have already written an email to PALS in the hope over women are not treated the same. No supoort, information or advice was given during any of the procedure.

Grossness does not bother me at all! In my job I insert things into bottoms every day lol, bowels are literally my job :lol:

You must have such a high pain threshold not to take painkillers, I can’t even stand up straight from the pain in my abdomen/pelvis. It feels so tight like something is pulling it inside & when I cough it feels like it’s going to explode. My throat is so sore from the intubation, my lip is cut & my tooth chipped. Add this to the bruises from cannulas etc & I feel like I’ve been run over

Hi Pippa,

I am so sorry for your loss. Your story sounds so similar to mine. As an NHS employee who tries to make every interaction with my patients heartfelt & meaningful it’s so incredibly upsetting to hear so many people have had bad experiences like mine. The hardest part for me was being left alone in my room for hours, only seeing someone when my obs needed doing. Being alone with my thoughts was so distressing as I have severe anxiety & can work myself up into such a state. All the staff knew I have bipolar but didn’t seem to give a second thought to how such a traumatic experience could affect me. When they were still believing I was having a miscarriage one nurse in the middle of the night actually said to me ‘I shouldn’t be saying this to you but if you want my advice don’t bother having kids they grow up to be horrible. I have 5 and they’re all awful’ then she left the room. I was in disbelief & couldn’t believe this was coming from a healthcare professional. Another nurse when I complained about my chest pain said ‘we’ve already told you what is causing it, just sit the bed up’ handed me the remote & walked out. This was 4.30am when I’d been awake for almost 24 hours & was delirious through pain & lack of sleep. I just laid there & cried alone for hours x

Claire i am so sorry to hear this. You must put in a complaint when you feel strong enough. I am shocked at how the staff behaved, sadly i think it becomes to routine for some and they loose the sense of what the patient is actually going through, a berevement and also the fear of loosing part of their reproductive system.

I was terrified the night prior to the op, for my baby, my future fertility, what if something happened to me. I was on the verge of having a panic attack. No staff asked how i was or talked to me, maybe they dont know what to say?

I have to have yearly colonoscopies due to a bowel condition, they use air in this procedure. After my first child and still breast feeding i had it without any pain relief or sedation i think my threshold is fairly high. After the op for this i have never experienced pain like it, it was horrific i could hear and feel my diaphragm clicking with each breath where there was so much air trapped, painkillers didnt even touch it. Luckily for me the nurse gave me the stronger pain relief.

I still feel very sore but thanfully the air pain has gone.

I hope your pain subsides soon, and again when you find the strength think about writing in. I am not one normally to complain but i couldn’t bear to think of another women being made to feel how i did durning such a dark time in their life.

All the best for your future.

I’m not one to complain either, especially about the NHS as I know how frivolous some of the complaints that we get are. But I do feel that what was an incredibly traumatic experience was made harder by their actions & i need them to know that it is just not right.

On a better note, I’ve woken up this morning & the pain in my stomach is definitely not as bad as yesterday, I managed to lie half on my side this morning to get some sleep. Onwards & upwards from here i hope! x