Ectopic pregnancy

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Hello

I recently found out I was pregnant but at the same time knew something was wrong straight away. I had stopped my contraception about 8 months ago and was having regular bleeds every month. On the 10th of November I started bleeding and didn’t stop. Hence the reason I took a pregnancy test which came back positive.

I went to epau and they told me I was having a miscarriage but strangely my hcg levels were going up so I was monitored for around two weeks having regular blood tests. I was then told it was a pregnancy of an unknown location so I needed methotrexate unfortunately my levels didn’t drop and I needed another dose of methotrexate. Again this didn’t work and I ended up having to have surgery and my left Fallopian tube was removed this was 4 weeks ago to the day, I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time.

In the 2 weeks after the operation I was really struggling after never even really having a blood test before to then having surgery was pretty scary and I was in so much pain luckily I was well looked after by the hospital and my husband and mum. Although not much aftercare from the hospital.

I got an infection in my belly button and was given antibiotics by my GP who informed me all the pain I was feeling was normal after the surgery were they probably had a “good root around” I couldn’t lay on my sides for some time after surgery also which made my back really sore as well.

I am now 4 weeks after my operation and although physically I’m just about back to normal although still feeling some lower abdo pain. I just don’t know how to feel or be around other people. At home I am completely okay in my own little world but I feel I don’t want to go out and people see me. I don’t want to get dressed and have probably only been dressed in the last 4 weeks twice to go visit the GP I am still off work as I have a very active role in health care and just don’t feel ready physically or mentally to return.

I know deep down the pregnancy was never meant to be as it wouldn’t have happened otherwise but feel so sad at the thought I now would have been twelve weeks pregnant. And reflecting on what could have been.

I just wanted to share my experience and wondered if anyone had any feed back for me at all on there experiences or how they went back to everyday life.

Thank you

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Hello, Emkr18, I just passed through the same, was planning to get pregnant by the end of the year as I quit pills in Sept17 but found out I was pregnant at the ER on Dec5 when I checked in with extreme low ab pain. As you I was almost 8 weeks and had my right fallopian tube extracted as my body didnt seem to absorb it.

Its been 3 weeks since the surgery and i still feel some lower pain, but could return to some daily activity. I was 15 days away from work, worked home office for 3 days and went out on a 15 day vacation.

I wasnt understanding my feelings, felt hopeless and desolated sometimes. Wished to see nobody and was avoiding to talk about it. My GP encouraged me to travel and to talk to someone. I did it both: had a long sincere conversation with my husband and later with my sister. Talked about my feelings and worries, and then I went to the beach for a couple of days with my family for xmas.

I am not 100%, neither body or mind, but it helped me, to talk and to travel. Change the subject. It may make you feel good for a while.

Maybe we will never forget this, but i hope we will be able to deal with it.

Wish I could help you best. Hope you feel better soon.

T.

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Hi Teresa8

I really appreciate your reply.

My husband has been fantastic but as you know your self he can only imagine half of what we have been through. I am struggling to sleep also at the minute as soon as I get in bed I have a millions questions which I have to google so maybe a break away would help.

Going to look at booking some time away when I resume back at work so I really thank you for your feed back.

Wishing you all the best for the future.

Emily

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Dear Emkr18,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss and the difficult time you have been through.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

You are in the early stages of recovery and your feelings are completely normal, however if your low days start to outweigh the good days, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Thank you for your reply Karen. Really appreciate it.

Having a few bad days and this board has been really helpful.

Thanks

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Im sorry for your loss

I am going though this too. Im on my 4th week recovery after operation. I had 2 lots of methetraxate which was horrible all the symptoms and all the blood tests. Surgery was horrible. I can only walk about the house and do a little housework. My bellybutton looks like its opened up again but trying to get an app with my doctor is very hard. I also feel very strange being around ithers who arent family and feel safe being in the house. I hope your recovering well. I didnt have any follow up from hospital either but apparently ive to get a letter telling me if they found out anything from having my right tube removed with the ectopic in to see if there was a reason for it. Did you get told the same? Did you get a memories box from the hospital?

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THank you Lorna and the same to you.

I think I vaguely remember the doctor saying I may get some results from the operation but they came to see me only an hour after surgery and was still pretty out of it.

I decided against the memory box. Did you? I felt I didn’t really come to terms with the fact I had lost my baby and I’d just had an operation. It’s only the last couple of weeks I have really thought actually I am not pregnant anymore. It’s been really hard to come to terms with and being around a lot of close family and friends who are pregnant or just had babies.

Yeah my belly is exactly the same I had antibiotics and a solution I wash it with but still seems to be really sore. Hope you get seen by doctor soon.

It really was an awful experience and still having aches and pains I just started my menstral cycle also so that’s hit me hard.

I am really struggling to sleep at the minute are you finding it the same? All I want to do during the day is sleep and night time I’m wide awake.

Still haven’t left my house for a little while or got dressed. I think deep down it’s because I don’t want anybody to see me and think I’m okay when I still feel so sad.

Greatful to have this board and some one to talk to.

Emily x

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Hi Emily, Lorna and Teresa. English is not my first language, but hopefully you’ll understand me. I think I had my ectopic surgery the same time, as you. I found out on the 10th of December, that I am pregnant. I was really surprised, because after 12 years of infertility I had to go through IVF to have my kids. I was told 3 years ago, that my right tube is blocked, I also have PCOS so the doctor suggested IVF. After 15 years I became spontaneously pregnant now and I was the happiest woman on the world. But on the 13th of December I started bleeding. My OB said my cervix was closed, but as he knew about my closed tube he told me to call him in case of sharp pain. Unfortunately the bleeding continued, it became dark brown and on the night of 15th December I had unbearable pain on my right side, as if cutting with a knife and I nearly fainted. In the morning my husband took me to the OB. He performed ultrasound and decided to operate me the same day. When I woke up he said I was bleeding inside and he had to take out my right tube as it was ruptured. My baby was 5 weeks 6 days:-( For 2 weeks I didn’t want to wake up from my bed. I hated Christmas. My sister was able to tell me it was the best Christmas in her life. Not for me…later she apologized.The second day of Christmas my children became ill and I realized they need me, just like my husband. But since the surgery I can’t sleep at night… During the day I am exhausted, but I keep myself busy with the housework and I also decided to start school in 2 weeks, I hope it will help me not thinking all day about what have happened to me. I am grateful that I am alive. My husband wants me to be happy again,he wants me to smile all day - I don’t think it is possible- sometimes I feel he doesn’t or can’t or don’t want to think about what happened.

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Youll get the results if you go back to the doctors and ask. I went to the doctors yesterday and found out all the results say os that it was an ectopic pregnancy. I did take the memory box which i think was a good idea as it has helped specially with my son who knew he was going to be a big brother but sadly it wasnt to be. I am wide awake until 3am i have to force myself to sleep and even then when im sleeping im sweating so much which i never used to do! Im still in pain too found out yeaterday om not to be out walking about or even sitting up myself as it strains the stomach muscles and with everything they moved inside when they done the operation.

How did you feel going through 2 lots of methetraxate? Your the only other person that has went through the same as me. I felt so much anger towards everyone until i had surgery and it was the end of the rollercoaster of what was going to happen. I got new painkillers so i hope they work more now. The doctor checked and im healing well its just still so sore internally. I havent had a period since this is the 4th week so im a nervous why its not happened yet. I hope your taking it easy and heal soon. My partners going to have a neice or neohew today or tomorrow so will be a good thing happening for once. Xx

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HI mano I am very sorry for your loss and what you are going through. Hope this board gives you the help you need and take care and I wish you the best for the future.

Hi Lorna

Thanks for that I will get in touch with my doctor and see what they say. I’d like to think they’d contact me if there was a problem but you never know.

Think that was a great idea for your son. Me and my husband just felt like we wouldn’t really know what to do with it.

I struggled to move around for like the first 3 weeks and it says 3 days on the internet so makes you feel as if there’s something wrong doesn’t it. I’m on week 4 now and although I’m physically a lot better I still find somethings uncomfortable like sneezing or coughing or sometimes how I lay in bed.

I’m exactly the same I have to sleep with the window open even though it is so cold. I went for a really long walk today to see if into would help me sleep but all I got was sore knees and my belly button infection started bleeding and I’m still layed here 12.35 wide awake.

I wasnt acutally too bad with the methotrexate the first one was okay the second was a lot worse for side effects tiredness and sickness was awful in the end. I was frustrated as I too had to wait around 3 weeks before surgery was suggested I had some slight pain on my right side so they did and ultrasound and found my pregnancy right in the middle of the tube and 3 hours later I’d had my surgery and that was it. It was all very quick. I felt they explained the surgery good but nothing at all about what we was going to feel afterwards especially the pain.

Really hope the pain killers start to work for you. I found paracetamol worked best for me.

I wouldn’t worry about your period at all they do say it can take ten weeks to return. I knew mine was coming for sure as I had really tender breasts. It’s not been as bad as I thought but have definitely felt more pain especially on my right hand side more then usual. So hopefully yours won’t be too bad either fingers crossed for you. It’s really raw and emotional as it felt like just another reminder.

Did you have to have fragmin injections? I really felt bruised around my belly and still feels a little sore now but each day does get better.

I’m glad to hear about your good news and thank you for replying to my post. This board has really helped me to discuss things I haven’t really said out loud.

Really wish you well on your recovery. Emily xxx

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Hi emily

What are the frogu injections?

How can you manage to go for a long walk?

Im in so much pain after walking about that ive given up only walk about the house which is annoying as ive got a puppy and cant even take him out my mum or partner take turns in taking him for walks lol

Ive been really really hot today which isnt normal.

I got given naproxen for pain relief and buscupan but been so uncomfortable and feel swollen around my back and stomach so might have to do back to cocodomol tomorrow.

Yeah i didnt know what to do with the box either its sitting ontop of my jewellry box but my son enjoyed looking at all the litrle things inside it helped him heal too i think.

Yeah you would think they would tell you the results but they dont which is strange.

I was so possitive the 1st jag would of worked but when the hospital phoned me a week later and told me to go in i was so angry. Then they done the same a week later after the 2nd jag but they had no other option but to operate luckily or i think i would of turned into hulk. Did you get your bloods took alot before and during the jags? Ive still got bruises from the drips in my wrist and hand. Still have little marks from the bloods getting took too.

When you woke up from the operate did you feel like your stomach was on fire?

Im actually going to ask my doctor on monday if its normal to be sweating at night if you didnt before.

Did you have nightmares after being put to sleep when you woke up and tried to sleep that night? I still get them i think its why im still wide awake the now at 2am lol

Are you going back to work soon?

My doctors put me back on a sickline and told me to rest as my bodys totally drained… not even allowed to walk about the village.

What date did you have your operation? I got mine on the 10th dec.

Im so bored of sitting in the house now especially since my parnters nightshift and my son stayed at my mums tonight to let me relax apparently lol hes 9 but acts like a 40 year old.

I hope your well xx

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Also emily if you want to chat on emails i would do that. Your the only other person i know thats meant through 2 lots of that horrible jag to then get surgery after all the hassle they give you. X

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Hey yeah could you email me so I can reply properly to you please bit of a pain isn’t it replying on here. My email is leedsfc2@hotmail.com xx

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Ive emailed you back