Hello, Butterfly14's Story

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post.

I have a gorgeous 2 year old daughter and from Feb 2010 to Feb 2011 my Husband and I tried to get pregnant. I found out I was pregnant the beginning of March this year but I oonly took the test because I started spotting. Something felt wrong about it, there was no elation or joy just an uneasy feeling. A few days later I got what I thought were period cramps and heavy bleeding so I assumed I was having a chemical pregnancy. Then the bleeding stopped the next day but I spotted.

This went on for a week and the GP insisted I was fine, I said I was worried it was an ectopic but he said I had no symptoms. I went back the next day after getting a sharp intense pain in my right side and more bleeding. He examined me but said he couldn’t find anything and arranged blood tests and a scan. I had to go to the scan on my own and the person scanning me could not find a baby. By this point I was 6 and a half weeks. She sent me to hospital to the epu dept for a full check up.

They checked me over and asked me to go back for repeat blood tests. Then that evening I got horrendous gastric flu type pains but gould not go to the toilet and shoulder tip pain when I laid down. I didn’t realise this was a sign of internal bleeding as I get ibs and thought it was stress related.

After the 3rd results they rushed me in and told me it was not looking good.

They were going to scan me but could not risk waiting over the weekend.

I was told they suspected ectopic and I would have to have surgery in the morning.

I ended up having my right tube removed and now 3 months on I am still gutted I lost the baby.

My two closest friends are pregnant and another is saying she is trying soon.

I feel so frightened about my experiences and it happening again that I am scared about ttc. I started ttc last month and have just had a negative pregnancy test. The whole time I was waiting I was not sleeping and felt sick all the time worrying it would happen again.

We desperately want another baby for our family and at the moment I feel like its never going to happen and that I still miss the one I lost.

I have to be strong for my family and friends because people expect me to be back to normal now but they don’t get how traumatic it was