Am I going crazy

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1

Looking for some help/ advice

I had an eptopice pregnancy 6 weeks ago and I’m really struggling with everything at the moment

Here’s my story

I woke up with a stomach ache and slept most of the day, by the evening I couldn’t deal with the pain and could t feel my left arm so I called 111

I went into hospital and was bleeding (which I thought was my period) I was told in hospital that I was pregnant (to my surprise) and was sent to gyny

Gyny conducted an internal and told me my cervix was closed but I would need a scan to find out why I was bleeding

The following morning I had a scan and was told I was bleeding internally, required surgery and had an ectopic pregnancy.

Whilst waiting to go to surgery a nurse asked me what kind of funeral I wanted for the pregnancy tissue

Once I came round from surgery I was told I had lost 1 litre of blood and my left tube and pregnancy tissue had been removed

Surgeon then told me that if I were to get pregnant again it would be painful as my womb and stomach are fused together due to adhesions from previous c sections

The following day I had ferritin injected I to me due to not producing red blood cells and then the following day after that I had a blood transfusion

Since then I have been in and out of hospital due to pains and clotting

I’m so emotional as I can’t really comprehend what has happened

I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant however the loss is really having an impact on my mental health - I also miscarried in Dec 2021 and got pregnant straight away so didn’t process that loss at all

I feel so down, I feel like my body has failed me

I am blessed with 2 kids but I can’t stop thinking about my losses

The fact that I am still having pains where my tube was removed from and below my belly button is a constant reminder (my surgery was keyhole)

During the last few weeks I went to hospital to see my Consultant, she showed me pics of the surgery and I can’t get those pictures out of my head

I feel so alone

I have people around me but I don’t think they understand my loss

2

Hi Lisha89,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so very sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can be a very confusing time and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself. There is no standard recovery process, as each of us is unique. However, as you’ve read, these boards are full of men and women who understand the challenges of ectopic pregnancies.

It’s important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. Right now, the most important thing to do is to look after yourself. There is no set recovery or set timeframe for recovery. As every woman is unique, we all process it in different ways. Some days are better, and some days are harder. Over time, the initial feelings may fade, but we don’t forget. It’s important to take the next steps in your own time. Your well-being is the most important thing right now.

I found that journaling was a way for me to get my thoughts onto paper, helping me to make sense of my emotions and to share them with friends and family. The Trust also believes that talking therapies can be of great help. You may want to speak to your GP for a referral and a look into counselling or to contact your local Mind centres. We can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below. Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and we can support you alongside the counseling. You will also find more information for support on our website: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Please know that these boards are here for you, any time, to share or to vent for as long as you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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