Happy endings can happen!

I am writing this post to share my personal experience and to show that happy endings can happen.

I searched for this type of post when I was struggling previously and worried about the future in hope of finding someone who had a positive outcome to their experiences.

I experienced an ectopic pregnancy in November 2022. My husband and I had been trying to conceive for around 6 months. I was on holiday and had a bleed which I assumed was my period however it went on longer than usual and developed into a brown discharge. I took several pregnancy tests however all were negative. When I got home, around 10 days later, I took another test which was positive. I had mixed emotions fearing something was wrong. I saw my GP that same day and described my symptoms. I was advised I was likely miscarrying and my GP requested an early pregnancy scan. She was told there was no availability for 2 weeks, she advocated for an earlier scan which was arranged for 10 days later. Those 10 days were awful, not knowing if I was pregnant or miscarrying. I also felt unwell (feverish and dizzy) although I thought this could be early pregnancy symptoms. The day before the scan I felt more unwell, experienced heavy sweating (through my clothes at work) and went to a & e. In a & e, I was advised to wait for the scan the following day as the ‘policy’ was they could not scan me in the department. I had my stomach examined and was told to go home. The closing comment from the consultant was ‘good luck with your pregnancy?!’.

The following day I had a scan and was advised that the pregnancy was likely ectopic as a mass could be seen in my left fallopian tube and no pregnancy in the womb. Bloods were taken and I was told to return 2 days later for more bloods to compare HCG levels. I was scared and anxious about the ectopic. The days following were extremely hard. I felt like I had a ticking time bomb in my body and could not relax. The discharge changed from brown to bright red bleeding, I returned to hospital for bloods and was met by a doctor who had not read my notes and did not know why I was there. I told him I had an ectopic pregnancy and he said ‘you wouldn’t just be left if you had an ectopic pregnancy’. Understandably this caused me further anxiety. He took my bloods.

I went back to the hospital two days later for the blood results and another scan. I was extremely worried and upset. I was advised that my left fallopian tube was starting to rupture and that I needed emergency surgery. My HCG levels remained at a similar level. I was never in a huge amount of pain, just had a dull ache and generally felt unwell (dizziness, sweating) I had my left fallopian tube removed along with the pregnancy. I felt tearful after the surgery and had a couple of weeks off work to recover physically and emotionally.

In March 2023, I was pregnant again. I had early scans which provided reassurance however I started to bleed at 11 weeks. I went to a & e and was advised to return if the bleeding became heavy. Unfortunately the following day, the bleeding was uncontrollable. I returned to a & e and was given a scan which confirmed I was miscarrying. I was prepped for surgery as it was thought there were parts of the pregnancy remaining in my womb however fortunately passed this just before being taken to theatre. Again, this experience had its emotional toll. I was starting to think I would never have a baby and friends announcing pregnancies made me feel sad and upset.

After both pregnancies, I sought help from a private fertility doctor to explore if there was any reason why I had had two difficult pregnancy experiences. Tests and a scan showed no issues. In July 2023, I found out I was pregnant again, I was prescribed progesterone. Although I was extremely happy to be pregnant, I was so anxious ‘waiting’ for something to go wrong. I had many early scans and later in the pregnancy due to concerns I had raised about foetal movements. I was also referred to a counsellor who supported me through the latter months. I did find this helpful and would urge others to do this to. I didn’t think I needed this support at first but I found myself to be extremely anxious throughout the pregnancy and I just ‘got through’ each day rather than enjoying it. I was tearful in every pregnancy appointment.

I didn’t realise how much I had been affected by the ectopic and miscarriage until I had a successful pregnancy.

I have recently given birth to a beautiful baby boy. I feel so lucky to have him. I wanted to share with others there can be happy endings after devastating experiences.

Dear Ashmou,

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby boy.

Thank you for taking the time to write such an open and honest account of not only what you physically went through, but how it affected you emotionally too. It will resonate with so many readers I’m sure and will certainly give support and hope to so many.

We will always be here for you, However you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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Thanks for sharing your story. I had my first pregnancy (EP) and had surgery to remove my right tube 2 weeks ago I’m struggling to stay hopeful. Reading your story helps me believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Ectopic pregnancy and surgery etc is a horrible experience both physically and emotionally.

I hope you feel well soon. Wishing you all the best for the future. X