Both my sister and sister in law have announced recently that they are pregnant, due dates 1 and 2 months after what would have been my due date. I just feel like I can’t escape. It’s horrible because I am obviously really happy for them both, but it is just a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. Every experience/ scan/ whatever I feel torn because it’s what I should be having.
I really don’t want to have to talk about pregnancy but it’s also unfair on them and the rest of my family where they should feel happy and be able to be excited and talk about it. (It also really doesn’t help that I’m living at my in laws at the moment and so I can’t just shut my front door and hide).
Dear Lauren,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x