Hi I need some words of wisom/comfort!
After a miscarriage last year, its been coming up to 4months since we got a confirmed ectopic pregnancy.
My sister in law and her husband who I both love dearly announced they are 17weeks pregnant.
In one sense, I’m genuinely extremely happy for them but on another hand, I’m thinking when will it be our turn.
I thought i had been doing very well with the healing process but i feel like im right back at the start of emotionally healing. She kept saying ‘it will be their first grandchild’ which is true but very hard to hear. I don’t want to be this person but feel totally devastated and broken inside. Cried myself to sleep lastnight and feel sad this morning again. X
Hi,
Afraid I have no particular words of wisdom, but am hopeful that not feeling alone in this experience might bring comfort (to us both!)
I am 2 months post ectopic which was my first pregnancy and would have been my family’s first grandchild too. My brother let me know his wife is 10 weeks yesterday, and I feel similarly back at square one. Have also been navigating a close friends recent pregnancy announcement (that was made in room full of people and honestly felt like the wind had been taken out of me) as well as other friends at various stages of pregnancy - one gave birth today.
I feel like I just about start to feel better and something else knocks me off course. I also just want to be able to feel joy for others without the grief creeping in, but perhaps just have to realise that will happen for some time
I have ordered this book as have read good things about it and am hopeful it might be useful [url removed per Trust policy]
I have also been having some counselling (privately) which has been helpful to explore all of these feelings, and would recommend if you are able to do
Sending love xxx
Dear Jenni and Ginny,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses.
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space. Please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
Thank you for the replies.
This has definitely knocked me hard again, been emotional all week x