I’ve just gone back to work after time off from my 3rd ectopic. Was just starting to feel in a good place and bam my best friend has fallen pregnant by accident whilst on the pill with her 3rd child!! When I was off recovering from my last ectopic my sister in law came round and told me she was pregnant with her 2nd and she wasnt even sure she wanted another child. Each time I’m over the moon for them I show support that I dont want them to be awkward around me and feel they cant talk about it but inside it hurts so much and knocks me back. It feels so unfair. I know I’m extremely lucky in that I do have a little girl who I absolutely adore but I think my losses which inc a miscarriage makes it difficult for me to be without her. Now I can’t even let out all my pain and thoughts to my best friend as I wouldn’t want her to feel guilty. I’m really struggling and feel alone as I think everyone thinks I should be over it by now. I’m heartbroken…
Hi Clare, first of all I’m so sorry you’re here and are feeling low (hugs)
I literally signed up tonight to say this same thing! I had my ep in July and since then it seems like everyone is pg - including my ex who wasn’t planning a baby and his fiance is due the same day I would have been 
I’m gutted as my wee girl is so excited about being a big sister.
I can understand you not wanting your friend to feel guilty, it’s a tough situation that I’ve been in myself. But it could be that she’s feeling awkward too and not wanting you to feel bad. It depends how close you are but could you maybe talk to her? If it doesn’t go well then at least you know and you can go back to the way things are just now.
I think we place a lot of emphasis on what other people think (or sometimes what we think they’re thinking!) but you have to take your time and heal at your own pace. Be kind to yourself and remember you are not alone. Much love x
Dear clare11203 and El Mc,
I hope you don’t remind me replying to you both in the same post but you seem to be experiencing very similar emotions at the moment.
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. Soon after my ectopic pregnancy I attended two christenings and one of my friends was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space. Please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can use the forums for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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I am so sorry you feel this way. I know exactly how you feel. I had an ectopic pregnancy in August 2015. My husband and I have been trying for a baby for a year now and no luck. Everyone around me is either pregnant, just had kids and every time I get the news that someone else is pregnant while happy for them deep down it makes me sad. Keep the faith sister, your blessing is coming soon!