Emotional Support Appreciated

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

New Member here…

Never been much of a participating forum person so please excuse if im not completely aware of any abbreviations and such im just in a place where I do not know where to turn and it seems this is a great community to be a part of.

I suffered an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in an Emergency right Salpingectomy this past Nov. I was apprx 3 weeks along and at the point of rupture at any moment. No explanation as to why I had an EP to begin with. Ive had a previously uncomplicated pregnancy 2 years prior with my son.

As I was recovering my best friend told me she was now pregnant and we would have been due less than a week of each other. We were both hoping that we would get pregnant with our 2nd together. It was a giant wave of emotions, I felt like we were given an amazing opportunity and my body had ruined everything and I hated myself for it. Unfortunately she later suffered a miscarriage but that also offered a glimmer of hope for us to try together again even though my odds of conceiving were slightly diminished in comparison. I was still within my 2 months of waiting to TTC when she again gets pregnant…she comes to me about how crappy she feels and looks to my advise as she did when she was pregnant with her daughter. It is unbelievably hard to listen to her conversations objectively, I would love to feel her misery. I love her to death and I know she didn’t have anything to do with my condition and I want to be there for her but its draining me emotionally trying to keep it together. Today she made her pregnancy public and I brought me to tears…just feels more real I guess

Two months later my husband and I have started our first cycle of trying…I am currently almost at the 2 week marker to test post Ov but I don’t feel pregnant. Both pregnancies I had that “you just know feeling” I predicted both after only a week along. So im not very optimistic about this round but hoping im proven wrong. Im having that swirl of emotions of having a negative test now and in the future, the stress of TTC with a sort of reproductive handicap, the fear of another EP or loss after conception and having to try and start all over again along with everyone as well as my best friend around me getting pregnant. Literally everywhere I turn theres announcements and complaining of morning sickness etc. My husband tries to be as supportive and emotionally available as he can but he cant understand the situation for me to its fullest extent.

My husband reminds me that its still possible and to keep faith and stressing/anxiety only further lessens our odds. I try to remind myself of these things constantly but my emotions are constantly getting the best of me. Does anyone have an suggestions or experience in a method you tried to calm yourself through the process of TTC and dealing with a social group full of pregnancies? I have tried reading success stories and they do help temporarily but I still find myself here in this overwhelming wave of emotions

2

Hi there,

I had an ectopic rupture exactly 6 weeks ago today, where my left fallopian tube was removed.

Nobody knew I was pregnant, it was our first and totally planned, and we were planning on telling the whole family on Christmas day.

To make matters a little more emotional, my sister-in-law was pregnant with her first (She gave birth Feb 1st, a few days ago!)

Yes, it’s difficult and yes, you will have days when you are sad and down and feel like crying, and that is perfectly normal.

My faith in God helped me through, I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and I think that mindset really helped me. As for being happy around and for other pregnant women, just think of how you’d want to be treated. It’s an exciting time for them, just like it will be for you one day very soon! Just because somebody else is having a baby and they’re happy about it, doesn’t take anything away from you. I was very emotional when I found out my sister-in-law was in labor, but meeting my niece for the first time only makes me very excited to start trying again!

Always have faith in the good, no matter how difficult your situation is. Your time will come, again, and the baby you have next is the baby you’re meant to have. When you look at your newborn you’ll understand why this difficult experience had to happen to you.

Wishing you strength and hope in the great things to come

3

Wishing you luck and strength on your ttc journey.

I also have a lot of people around me currently pregnant it is difficult some days to not feel sad about what could have been. I do just let myself have some time to think about it all.

Xx

4

It’s so hard everyone around u having baby’s after eptopic I’m still going threw mine had jab and levels are rising I have 3 freinds pregnant at moment it’s my second pregnancy but mine and my partners first we started to row alltime all I been doing is crying any advice also went bck and my levels have gone from 1800 to 3000 don’t know what going happen next

5

I’m so sorry for your loss. My best friend and I were pregnant together too and I lost mine. It’s really hard I know how sad it can be and trying to be supportive but it hurts so much. Since she has suffered a loss and if she is truly a good friend she will understand you are hurting and it’s ok and normal to feel what you are feeling. I am not super involved with my friend right now for that reason and her and I have an understanding. i think you just didn’t get the healing time needed but it’s gonna be ok :slight_smile: sending you positive thoughts try not to worry

6

In a similar boat. Already have one Nearly 3 year old son, and a lot of friends pregnant with second child, or already delivered. It had taken us over a year to conceive second time around.

However, I just remember I already have one wonderful son, and a lot of people are not that lucky.

In addition I remember the other people who have had multiple ectopics and miscarriages, if they can get through it and hold their head up high, so can I.