Confused and emotional

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Hello

I have been back and forth on this forum since December but this is the first time i have joined and posted. 23rd December my life was thrown upside down.

I married my forever partner 2 years ago, since then we have been trying for a baby (his first, my third). I’d had a coil in for the previous 5 years and it was one of my biggest regrets, having it taken out gave me/caused Pelvic inflammatory disease and that was just the start.

So after trying for a baby for 16 months i finally went to the doctors with concerns, it hurt to be intimate with my partner and i had concerns over how long it was taking to conceive as it took 5 months each time with my daughters.

To cut a long story short she advised losing weight so we could be eligible for IVF as going down the gyno route would be useless. So i joined a class.

I had a period 1st December, came off for 2 days then started bleeding again. My husband and I went away for 3 nights the weekend before Christmas, i was still bleeding and getting pain and he made me promise to book in to see the GP when we got back.

23rd December I made the appointment for that day and off we went. Her first question “could you be pregnant?” I hadn’t even thought about it. My periods were irregular since having the coil out and i assumed this was just another one of those. Apparently not, she tested my urine and i bawled when she told me i was pregnant. Then it hit me, her face said it all.

The doctor said i was miscarrying and that she would book me into the early pregnancy clinic the next morning.

24th December my husband took me to the EPC, both of us heartbroken. They did an internal scan and found nothing, confirming the doctor’s theory of a miscarriage. They took bloods and told me to call back that evening.

I didn’t get the chance to call them as they rang me just after lunch. They had concerns because my HCG levels came back at 536…too high for a miscarriage. I was told to go back boxing day for another blood test to make sure they were going down. Boxing day i went back, another call at lunch, my levels were now well over 1000 and they were just as puzzled as us.

We were asked to go back in another 48 hours. I didn’t make it. 24 hours later my husband rushed me in, i was doubled over in pain and my urine looked like all blood. They gave me another internal scan and i was told they were pretty sure it was ectopic. I had clots and i was full of liquid…blood. I was asked to sign a form giving them permission to take what was necessary to save my life and was then rushed into theatre.

2 hours later i was back on the ward. it was 11:30pm and i was still very out of it. My husband got to give me a kiss before he was asked to leave and then i remember a doctor coming round to briefly explain things.

They had to remove what was left of my left fallopian tube. It had ruptured and i was filling with blood. She explained how lucky i was to still be here. They had apparently checked my right tube and it looked good, i was told to wait a cycle before trying again and was told my chances were good on one tube alone.

I am convinced that the coil removal damaged me. My problems started after that.

So that brings me to today. 11 weeks Post Op. I have had one cycle and we are TTC again. Which brings me to my subject…confused and emotional.

I am 10 days late for my period, i have taken 3 home pregnancy tests and had a doctor test my urine…all negative. I have had lower back pain the last week, cramping in my front, one minute i can’t eat enough and the next i have no appetite and mood swings! A couple of times i have felt nauseous, i am bloated and i am constantly tired.

I am so confused. Am I convincing myself i am pregnant because i want it so much? Or is Aunt Flo coming but taking her time?!

The doctor has booked me in for a blood test this friday to be sure that it is negative but i’m so worried.

Thanks for reading

xx

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I’m sorry for all you have been through and hope you get your rainbow baby. I don’t have an answer for your question but didn’t want to read and run so to speak. I am also in limbo until next Wednesday so I feel your impatience.

*Virtual hugs sent

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Hi SWark,

I’m very sorry to hear of all that you’ve been through. Suffering an ectopic pregnancy is a physical and emotional trauma and can leave us with many questions. I will do my very best to help.

Some women find that bleeding and spotting after treatment for ectopic pregnancy can last up to six weeks. Also, it can take a few cycles before your periods settle into a rhythm that is more normal for you. Women can find that their periods are heavier or lighter or longer or shorter than before - there’s no set pattern as such.

It’s important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause the ectopic pregnancy, though we hear the same concern from many women. Given you’ve had negative urine pregnancy tests and are worried, it is the right thing to go to Doctor. The appointment today can give clearer picture as hCG can be detected in normal blood test around 11 days after ovulation. Even if test today doesn’t show pregnancy, there could be other reason for delay of your period like stress or weight loss (even extreme exercise). Doctors consider cycles between 23/42 days to be within the normal parameters. If more than 42 days pass and you still don’t start, may be worth speaking to Doctors again

It’s impossible to say whether the coil was the reason for problems. Our hearts go out to you that you’ve endured such terrible time, and I can absolutely understand wanting to find reason. Please do remember, it is not your fault. You are always welcome to express yourself freely here. We are here for you for as long as need.

Cheers,

Michele

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Thank you both for your replies.

Literally as I was preparing to go for my blood test today, I used the loo on my way out the door and there was Aunt Flo.

Not exactly what I wanted but my time will come I guess. I’m just glad that I know either way and can start trying again.

Natalie. Good luck to you, my fingers are crossed for you. I hope you get the news you want xx