Chemical miscarriage after ectopic

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

Hi,

I started trying again this month after having an ectopic pregnancy and one of my tubes removed. I actually was trying to kid myself that I wasn’t properly trying and just didn’t want to have sex using a condom anymore (it’s such a buzz kill…) But really I was thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant.

I had some spotting last Saturday and thought that maybe it was implantation bleeding so I took a test on Tuesday before my period was due and it was positive. I was so happy, anxious, scared, nervous all emotions. I was also surprised and thankful that I had gotten pregnant (I know the stats are quite good after having a tube removed but still good to know you can)

I was trying not to get too excited and treat going in for the 6 week scan as another pregnancy test. I started the process of self referring to the hospital, spoke to the mid wife etc.

Then the day after my period was due I started bleeding so I tested again and it was negative. I thought thank goodness it is negative (how ridiculous is that, in any other circumstance you would not feel that but all I could think is at least it’s not another fuck*ng ectopic again).

I felt embarrassed that I had tested so early and gone and taken up the hospitals time, having to go through calling again to say my pregnancy had ended and having the classic “oh you’re not through to the right team let me transfer you” and having to say it all over again…

If I hadn’t tested before my period was due I would have just thought I was a day late. But then I’m torn with also needing to know when I’m miscarrying in case of keeps happening and I need to get help?

I’m not as devastated as I was with the ectopic, but it’s still really shit. It still comes in waves, I don’t really know whether to grieve, I can’t go back to the place I was after experiencing the ectopic. For some reason (and I really don’t know why) I didn’t think I would have a miscarriage, maybe another ectopic but not a miscarriage. I don’t know if I’m going to keep having them and how much I can take.

Have people got themselves checked out at the doctors if they’ve had a miscarriage? I’m not sure if i should get any advice before trying again.

Anyway, sorry it’s a sh*t story. I hope it will be better next time.

2

Dear Lauren,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses, to experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

Sadly miscarriage is more common than ectopic pregnancy and we do hear from women who experience miscarriage as well. I would suggest giving yourself time to deal with all the emotions that this brings.

Although we will always be here for you, there are charities that specialise in inflammation and support following miscarriage and I have listed 2 below that you may find helpful.

https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

https://www.tommys.org/

It is not usual for doctors and medical teams to complete any investigations following the first miscarriage, but as you have had a previous ectopic pregnancy, if you do have any specific questions, please do seek medical advice.

Above all be kind to yourself, don’t blame yourself for anything you did or didn’t do during this journey. You did what was right at the time and that is all that matters. We do still advise requesting an early pregnancy scan as soon as you find out you are pregnant so you did nothing wrong, although I can appreciate how hard those phone calls must have been.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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