Hi All
I just joined here and noticed not much in the men’s section for ectopic pregnancy. So thought I would post.
Having a look around the net it seems there is a perception that for a guy, an ectopic, or even a miscarriage/loss of a child, isn’t such a big deal as it is for a woman or they can get over it in “a couple of weeks”, well I can categorically say it is just as bad, maybe not the physical after affects, bu the mental affects are horrific, and long lasting.
It’s got to be the most challenging and upsetting thing I have ever went through, and after 2 years the pain is almost as bad, in fact it never really hit me till a Year later. Add onto that not being able to concieve again due to stress, upset, things being very matter of fact, we tried absolutely everything afterwards, despite being checked out and everything fine, we even went for IVF,everything looked great then it failed, I’ve never seen someone so upset than after that failed, it truly is horrific is the only way I can describe it.
Besides all that we have watched with much pain other friends couple fall pregnant multiple times since then, who really don’t understand the pain we go through every single day. We walk through towns only to bump into an expectant mother at every corner, or to have that long walk along a pavement towards a pram being pushed towards us ever so slowly.
We fall into depression every month as period comes along again, thinking maybe next month, the power of maybe!
Personally I’ve been off work multiple times with stress, I just could not cope at all, and it’s a good job with decent people, not stressful.
I was in hospital for really high blood pressure for a week, I would probably have a stroke or heart attack if I didn’t get treatment urgently, nothing wrong with my organs, just huge stress and feeling of fear and faliure. I’ve piled on 5 stone, I’m on meds for Blood pressure, life is not good, I won’t say horrible, we live in hope but even that has slowly ebbed away.
I fear for the future, a future with no kids. The more I see those happly familes all walking their brood around it makes me cringe, you actually get to a point of detesting their happiness, I know it’s not good, it isn’t good, but that’s the way it makes you.
Not trying to be a debbie downer but the reality is this kind of thing is life-changing and not very pleasant. You start questioning yourself, why oh why is this happening to me, it’s like being beaten down to the ground, only to get up and beaten down again and again, until you can take no more, but somehow you just have to get up again.
Only to find out your neighbour is noe expecting! It never ends!
If anyone of you have experienced this I can categorically say I know how you feel.