Hi, I thought that I would reach out on here to see if there is anyone who has been in a similar situation. It’s so hard to talk about this with friends and family because unless they have been through it themselves they don’t really understand the pain that’s associated with my wife and I’s situation.
My wife suffered her first ectopic in early February this year. She was about 6-7 weeks along. We’d gotten pregnant after our first time really trying. It’s was heartbreaking to say the least and a huge shock for us both. She ended up loosing her left tube. The doctors couldn’t pinpoint a reason as to why it had happened.
It was an incredibly difficult time as lockdowns were still in place so we couldn’t go out and take our mind of things. I took a week off work to look after her and then because of our financial needs, I went back to work.
We started trying again in May, 3 months after my wife’s operation. We found out she was pregnant again at the end of August. Everything looked good, she was having regular blood tests but unfortunately after about 4 weeks she suffered horrendous pains and cramps and an emergency scan revealed that it was ectopic in her remaining right tube and it had ruptured. After her surgery the consultant suggested that her remaining tube looked “a little too long” but again, no real reason as to why this had happened again. Nothing was flagged up after her first surgery, the only reason the doctors removed her first tube was because everything else “looked good!”
We were both broken, however as it was a situation of “here we go again””after the second time I would say that we dealt with it a bit better.
We’re at the end of November now and we have both just had our first base line fertility assessments for IVF on the NHS. The reality of the whole year hit me when I went for my tests. I just hope everything is all alright with my sperm. I would hate myself it they were reason this had happened. As my work has started to slow down the whole experience had caught up with me.
It’s difficult to describe how I’m feeling. I’m trying to remain optimistic but I’m so worried that things won’t work out for us. It hard not really knowing why this has happened. We a both healthy fairly active people and neither if us smoke. I’m trying my hardest to be strong for my wife and look after her the best I can…but I wish I had someone else to talk to who had been through a similar experience.