a little update

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

Dear All,

It´s been a while since I posted here.

Yesterday was my ´supposed to be due date´ and I had such mixed feelings about this date.

All the while I felt as if I was still pregnant in some parallel universe and I just had to wait it out. (am I the only one feeling this way?)

While most people around me kinda ´forgot´ what we had been through, I was still going through it, things getting better, ups and downs, feeling everything I had to feel and go through.

My love and I were not trying again to conceive, we just wanted to enjoy life and each other again.

After this painful experience we couldn’t focus on me just being pregnant again ASAP, we needed to (try and) focus on our love for each other and trying to find happiness again in what we have, hopefully the rest will follow…

And now the date had passed…<3 remembering our little angel, it’s strange how you can wait so long for something and it still feels as if it was yesterday.

This whole week has been kinda ´weird´as I am home feeling sick and flu-ish, spent most of this week in bed, tired.

I was anticipating ´Imbolc´ which is during the end of January/beginning of February and marks the first signs of Spring and ‘fertility’

Last Sunday (the 1st of Feb) I started to notice a change in my body…I felt a bit off, maybe a cold - I just couldn’t understand why my breasts would be so sore from a cold, up to the point where I now can’t sleep on my stomach anymore… I remembered this from my first pregnancy…I feel subtle changes in all of my body and my mood, it’s just very hard to tell if I’m silently cheering for my period or being pregnant.

Of course I test everyday and it still comes out negative, I have all dates written down and if I am indeed pregnant it is too soon to tell with a test.

Last time I couldn’t get a positive test until the 5th week…

I’m trying to stay calm, focus on the positive and keep a clear mind, but it’s very hard not to jump from crazy happy and anxious to very depressed and sad if it will go wrong again.

I feel the need to share it with the ones understanding these feelings like no other :frowning:

Today would be the date where I am supposed to get my period, I’m sorry if I don’t know all the abbreviations and terms.

I know I have to be patient, it’s just so hard - I want to have hope but I’m afraid…

I will update this post when I know more, fingers crossed <3 thank you for taking the time to read my update <3

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hi jemma,

hope you are okay? i had my op 2 weeks ago so I’m quite new to the whole Ectopic feeling, but i can imagine what you are going through, I’m petrified for when i want to start again. To be honest, you have said all the right things, about being patient, i think sometimes, we know what we need to do, but need others to tell us. keep positive hun!!! thinking of you…

i do really hope its good news for you and its the news you want… xx

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Wishing you lots of luck strength and positivity for your journey ahead.

I’m not looking forward to the date coming of what would have been my due date I hope writing your post have you some kind of comfort sharing with those who have had the same experience

Xx

4

hi,

i totally understand what you are saying. i only knew i was pregnant for 2 days before being told it was ectopic so in many ways we have only just come to terms with the fact that i was ever pregnant. my due date is around now. i am not completely sure as they never knew for sure when i had got pregnant.

but now it is here, i completely agree that it feels as if i have been phantom-ly pregnant… kind of fantasising what could have been but also mourning was isn’t. i agree also that unless you have had this experience it is hard to empathise.

good luck and let us know how you get on xxx

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Hey Jemma,

I just wanted to say hi and thanks for the update, i remember your beautiful words from another post a while back you really do a fantastic way of putting things :smiley:

I think focusing on your love and enjoying each other is the best way forward. I had an ectopic in April last year and was treated with methotrexate. After the 3 month wait after injection i become obsessed with trying for a baby, i had sex strictly on fertile days, cut out all caffeine took prenatal vitamins every day religiously. Nothing happened and i became very down and angry at myself and the world, whenever i heard a celebrity or someone i know was pregnant i would feel like such a failure and took it to heart. I obsessed over days like fertile days and the two week wait before my period and became extremely down. After 3 months of this (not a long time i know but it felt like forever) i was fed up as was my husband and we decided to stop obsessing and “trying” for a while.

I decided to concentrate on buying a house and thinking about a change in career instead, i stopped taking my prenatal vitamins, started drinking my twice daily coffees again, had a few cigarettes and eat “forbidden” foods like Camembert and deli meats again.

Then one afternoon after i had been in hospital getting a mole removed (it was thankfully benign) i had a coffee and it made me feel sick? i took a pregnancy test on a whim and it was positive! I couldn’t believe it , my husband and i had only been having sex sporadically and it definitely wasn’t during peak time… i hadn’t even lay down with my legs up afterwards… could this really be happening?

After 3 scans and very anxious moments and a lot of tears i’m happy to say i’m 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant today (i had my dating scan this morning) i saw our baby jumping about and wiggling its legs and everything is as it should be.

I am absolutely delighted and never thought this would happen, just wanted to give hope to everyone still trying that as annoying as it sounds sometimes it really does happen when you stop thinking about it (god i hated it when anyone said that to me!) and to try and enjoy life and your partners as much as possible!

Much love to you all!

Avis

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Hi Avis

Just read your post and just wanted to congratulate you on your lovely news. I remember some of your posts from when I had my ectopic in June last year and I am also 13weeks 2days today! I hope stories like ours give other ladies hope , it can happen xx

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Hey Jemma,

I too remember your previous posts… Thank you do much for updating us. Please stay positive… You are not alone. Take comfort, as I will, from stories like avis’… They do exist!

Much love and hope,

Redfairy xxx

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thanks avis and princess for sharing your stories - it does indeed give us hope xx

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Congratulations to you too Princess! That’s mad we are due same day. I’m wearing maternity jeans for first time at work today they are so comfy, i’d been too scared to buy maternity clothes before yesterday and all my jeans were so tight, i feel so much better and very pregnant!

To all the other lovely ladies keep being positive TTC is so hard but as cliched as it sounds sometimes a watched pot never boils, be kind to yourselves and focus on things that make you happy, trashy tv, fitness a good book for massive latte and a slice of cake! People don’t understand what we’ve been through and its great you all support each other on here.

Also don’t be afraid to ask for help, i saw my GP and a consultant at a family planning clinic a few times for advice and reassurance, i also had counselling post ectopic and i’m booked in for a session today, mediation and talking to someone really does help me.

Good luck to you all!!

xx

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Wow, I’m reading this with tears!

And dear Princess and Avis CONGRATULATIONS!!! that is such good news <3 Bless!

And this gives so much hope!!! I hope you are well and happy!!!

And thank you all for your sweet replies!

I unfortunately had my period last Monday…

I was (almost) so sure this time…was thinking of this possible new due date and all…felt so secretly happy

and then there’s my period…but it is what it is and it is Okay, it’s sad, I feel sad, but,…what is meant to be will be and stories from you keep my hope alive :slight_smile:

Also, it’s nice to know we are in this together, even tho it is so sad at the same time we need to go though it…

thank you for the support! <3 Thank you for all!!!

Much love!!

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hey jemma,

join us over on the ttc feb board. we’re all in it together over there and you’d be a welcome addition :smiley: