EDD 3/7/09
I looked forward to this day with so many thoughts, would you be here in my arms already or be making me wait a little longer to meet you? Would the sun be shining brightly in the sky or would the rain be beating down against the windows in the nursery? Would you have deep brown eyes like mine, or steely grey eyes like Daddy?
The one thought I never stopped to think is that you wouldn’t be here. That I couldn’t keep you safe. That I would never hear you laugh or know what your favourite colour might be. That the word ‘ectopic’ would forever more feature in my daily thoughts. And when I lost you back in November 2008, I never thought that another much wanted baby would be joining you in Heaven this spring.
I will never forget the wishes and dreams I had for you, my darling first baby, and you will forever live on in my heart and in my thoughts. Whenever I do or see or try something new, I am doing it all for you to experience. You were so cruelly never destined to experience all the wonderful and bittersweet things which life has to offer.
Look after your brother or sister, tell them they will have their own special day this Christmas, and give each other all the kisses and cuddles I wanted to give to you both, but never will. I love you very much.