2 misscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy!

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Hi, I’m new to this but needed some help and advice…

In November 2016 at what should of been 12 weeks pregnant I was devastated to find out I was experiencing a missed misscarriage… the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and it took my body a further 6 weeks for my hormone levels to drop enough to miscarry! My husband and I were devastated as this was our first pregnancy… I fell again in January to find out at 7 weeks that I was Misscarrying again! This knocked me back yet again so we decided to go on holiday and give ourselves time to grieve… two weeks ago I was excited to find out we were expecting again, I had my first appointment with the midwife only last Friday… an hour later I noticed I was bleeding , I didn’t experience any pain so she booked me in for a reassurance scan to see what was happening… the scan didn’t show a pregnancy?! Although I had taken two pregnancy tests to confirm… the sonographer checked my ovaries and uterus to come to the conclusion that all was ok and I had either imagined I was pregnant or my dates were wrong!! Here we were again… all excitement and our dreams squashed… I walked away very confused, angry and upset. Sunday was when I started to experience excruciating pain in my left side… I was admitted to hospital and monitored to find out through numerous scans that I had an ectopic pregnancy although there was no heartbeat and just a sac?!.. I am still feeling so numb to it all as I feel My body isn’t doing what it should. My body is naturally “disolving” the pregnancy which I find so hard to process… I am still bleeding and experiencing pain in my left side although my hormone levels are slowly dropping. I am wondering if anyone has experienced something similar as I understand the majority of women have to have either methotrexate or surgery. I’m just wishing my symptoms would go so I can move on. Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Dear gem994,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. Experiencing one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies, experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and it can be a very difficult time.

I have provided you with information about what happens with treatment for ectopic pregnancy through expectant management, it can be a little difficult to read so please take your time.

When the pregnancy is ended, the whole pregnancy sac including any cells that might have grown into a baby is usually reabsorbed by the body. This is normal and happens in many cases of miscarriage. This process can take weeks and sometimes months. In some cases, the Fallopian tube may remain blocked and take time to shrink. Sometimes the tissue can separate and be passed through the vaginal bleeding that occurs. The bleeding that follows an ectopic pregnancy can be very heavy and clotty and result in the passing of what we call a decidual cast. This decidual cast is the lining of the uterus when we are pregnant. The sudden drop in hormones can cause the material inside the uterus to be shed in layers and the material that is passed can be grey, pink or white as well as appear like a clot or dark or frank red blood. Women can often mistake it for the tissue of their baby which can cause worry but it is important to remember that it is a normal process for the uterus lining to be shed.

As this is sadly your third loss, I would advise speaking to your doctor’s to see if they are able to look into this further for you, if you wish at this time.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

We are all here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

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