2 ectopics now a 1 tube down - feeling very low

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

Hiya

Looking for encouragement and advice feeling very very low!

I had my first ectopic in October 2019 at 8-9 weeks didn’t know I was pregnant until 7-8 weeks (I had a “period”) a couple days later after finding out I was pregnant I was feeling excruciating pain and went to a and e who sent me home. The following day I left work in so much pain I could not sit down I went to EPU who confirmed ectopic in right tube and internal bleeding and was rushed to theatre. After surgery surgeon said I had a tubal abortion and pregnancy tissue was found in my pouch of Douglas tube was not removed.

Fast forward April 2020 my partner and I decided to TTC and found out I was pregnant 1st cycle I felt that I had ovulated from the left side so was sure this pregnancy would be successful… not my luck! I attended EPU at 5 weeks + 5 and was told it was another ectopic in my right tube - I had in fact ovulated from the left but my right tube picked it up!!!

I had surgery the same day and right tube and pregnancy was removed I was told by the surgeon that I only needed to wait after one period to TTC again it’s been 3 months and I’m going through so many emotions and it has caused a big strain on my relationship I come to this site for encouragement and success stories praying and hoping it will be me one day

  • why would my right damaged tube pick up the egg from the left side

Does this mean my left tube is blocked / not working

I have no risk factors and surgeon said my left tube looks healthy and fine and just to try again after one period

I feel so depressed and can’t function mental sometimes I don’t have anyone to talk to as my partner and I end up arguing I know he means well but sometimes says the wrong thing which triggers me

  • He said it was my fault as I had negative thoughts which is why it turned out negative

I find myself crying randomly and I don’t have very supportive friends so just internalise it all

Any advice or sharing your experience would be really helpful

Thank you and wishing you all the very best

xFruitfulx

2

Dear fruitful,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses, to experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

Unfortunately I am not medically trained so cannot give you specific advice on your query, however I am led to believe that because the egg was picked up by the opposite fallopian tube does not indicate a blockage with the one on the same side you ovulated from. The pull from the opposite fallopian tube was just greater and it does show how we can become pregnant even with one fallopian tube.

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.

Although your feelings at this time are normal, if the down days start to outweigh the good, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. Can I just confirm for you that negative thoughts absolutely cannot cause ectopic pregnancy. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

3

Dear Karen

thank you for the reply. It means a lot to me that you have taken time to address my specific issue.

Thank you for your comforting words.

No longer TTC as we have now separated

Regards

4

So sorry that you’re going through such a rough time. Please try to find the support you need. This isn’t your fault. I hope one day you can look back on this awful experience from a happier place. You’ll look back and be surprised at your inner strength.

Take care.

5

I’m back to share good news. My Miracle baby is sleeping right beside me as I type.

In summary it took us 2 years actively TTC for 6 months. My healthy baby boy was born April 2023.

As of June 2022 I had given up and had a fertility appointment booked for me and my husband for Tuesday 27th September the very same day I had my 12 week scan!

I stood on Exodus 23:26.

I pray all reading this, expecting the fruit of the womb will experience this same joy in their appointed time Amen

6

Dear Fruitful,

That is such good news,

Thank you so much for taking the time and updating us about the safe arrival of your baby boy. It will bring so much hope to do many,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information

If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.

Further information is available on our website.

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

7

Can I use 4d scan during Pergnecy