1st pregnancy- ectopic

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1

Hi

I found out I was pregnant with my first baby a few weeks ago.

Last Sunday I had light bleeding which I was reassured was normal by the EPU as I was 7 weeks 3 days but they offered me a reassurance scan to put my mind at rest.

During the scan they could not find baby by doing an ultrasound so did a scan using a probe. The sonographer confirmed the pregnancy has grown in my right Fallopian tube and baby had a heartbeat.

My partner and I feel destraught as this baby is so loved and longed for.

I had surgery the next day to remove baby along with my left Fallopian tube, I am feeling empty inside and a mixture of emotions anger, anxiety and sadness and loss and I don’t know what to do I feel like my body has failed me.

I felt that I needed to write about this and it helps a little to know that I am not alone.

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Dear Blueberry_2019,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

We advise that you should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

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