Hi, I suffered my 3rd ectopic pregnancy at Christmas, after finding out we had gotten pregnant 2yrs after my previous ectopic where I had lost my tube. As you can imagine we were very excited. To find out that it was another ectopic destroyed me and my partner, I went through the methatrexate but the 1st lot didn’t work, so they gave me a second lot only to be rushed into hospital as my last and final tube had ruptured. The second time I’ve almost lost my life. I now have no tubes and my dreams have been shattered, ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was a family. Putting on a brave face is proving harder as family around me have all not got their new little families and it’s proving very hard to be happy for them. Questions such as ‘why me?’ And ‘what did I ever do to deserve this?’ Come to mind. I’m not coping x
TishFish:
Hi, I suffered my 3rd ectopic pregnancy at Christmas, after finding out we had gotten pregnant 2yrs after my previous ectopic where I had lost my tube. As you can imagine we were very excited. To find out that it was another ectopic destroyed me and my partner, I went through the methatrexate but the 1st lot didn’t work, so they gave me a second lot only to be rushed into hospital as my last and final tube had ruptured. The second time I’ve almost lost my life. I now have no tubes and my dreams have been shattered, ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was a family. Putting on a brave face is proving harder as family around me have all not got their new little families and it’s proving very hard to be happy for them. Questions such as ‘why me?’ And ‘what did I ever do to deserve this?’ Come to mind. I’m not coping x
I’m so sorry to hear the pain you are in. It’s heartbreaking and I understand why you feel that you aren’t coping. I felt like that this morning too. After my last miscarriage I found it very hard to see my friends who all have children so I have been hiding away and not seeing anyone. Now this has happened I feel incredibly angry and upset with anyone who pushes a pushchair past my window. This is incredible hard. I’m so sorry for you. Have have had such an awful experience. I’m not going to say things try try and make you feel better about trying again with IVF because you don’t need that now. You need to grieve and it’s really cr:ppy. All I can say is I hope you
Take time to rest and heal. We will get through this. We have to. Xxxx
Dear TishFish,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Questions I also asked myself following my ectopic pregnancy and I’m sure many women echo these feelings. Sadly no cause for ectopic pregnancy can be found. I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
I had counselling following my ectopic pregnancy and in time I learnt that although I will never forget my pregnancy or baby, I learnt to accept what happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t my fault.
We are all here for you,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.