I’ve been posting on the main board toing and froing to hospital for my 6th pregnancy which was finally confirmed as a miscarriage on Friday. I’ve previously had another miscarriage and 3 ectopics. I’m blessed to have a beautiful little girl.
I was relieved it was a miscarriage and not ectopic but still gutted and wanted a moment to cry. Had to hold it in from getting the call as had friends coming over. It turned into a row with my husband. He didn’t like it that I tell people…but if he doesn’t want to talk about it who am I supposed to talk to. Just because he bottles everything up then saves it all for a row. It helps me to talk about it with anyone and everyone. If someone asks how was your weekend. I find it harder to say yes fine thanks and id rather people understand why I may be a bit tetchy or sensitive. Anyway he’s now decided he doesn’t want to do this again. He’s sick of the grief and the fear he goes through that I could die when I have an ectopic. But I’m not ready to give up. I was glad I’d miscarried as it meant we could try again. Then it turns into his own ego and self pity that I’m only with him to get pregnant which is utter rubbish. (Been together 11yrs). We’d said this was our last yr of trying and if it was Ectopic then we wouldn’t try again. I’m not ready to give up. I want to know that in my head before we try. To know it’s the last time will allow me to prepare emotionally. I don’t know what to do. I think I need to let the dust settle before I bring it up. Emotions are too raw at the moment. I don’t want this to be our last go. I’m not ready 
Dear Clare11203,
I am so sorry to hear of the difficult emotional time you are going through right now. I completely understand the overwhelming desire to conceive and giving yourself time to recover both physically and emotionally maybe the time you say needed to let the dust settle.
You will need to talk to your partner about your needs and wishes whilst listening to his wishes and concerns. If this is difficult to do between you without causing arguments, would it be possible to talk with a third party, perhaps counselling together.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
Can I also suggest gently discussing with your husband your need to be able to be open with your friends and family to gain support for your loss. We too are here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
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Hi clare.
I usually am not active on this board. Have a boy and a girl and my third baby was an ectopic and resulted in my right tube to be removed just 2 months back. I can absolutely understand your desire and your emotions. I just want you to know you’re not alone. Just reading your post made me water my eyes. I love children and the thought of me miscarrying (which was actually a misdiagnosed ectopic) and then going thru major surgery losing so much blood i feel like i have been through both. I can, however share my sisters story here for you. She has been trying for her second after an autistic son for 8 years and after 2 still-births and 4 miscarriages, she finally just gave birth to a little girl a month ago. She had to administer an injection every single day and was on the verge of getting tubal ligation thus giving up but she didn’t. She believed in the creator. Please please dont give up. You can bring it up with your partner in a few months and until then, have faith. You will be a mom again. I promise you.