Unknown Etopic Pregnancy on the copper coil

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1

Hi all,

I’m feeling really low and I don’t know who I can talk to apart from my partner and friends. I don’t want to effect them with negative emotions.

Last Wednesday 27th November 2017 after being up all Tuesday night with pain I took myself to the doctors in the morning to get checked out. I had no sleep what so ever and not the type to go to A&E which was silly of me really. I thought maybe the coil has slipped or I had a cyst but I was wrong. The pain wouldn’t allow me to move and by 5am I had this pain going through by tummy into my right shoulder which prevented me lying down. The doctor did a urine dip and I was pregnant on the coil! Such a shock! I burst into tears because it was shock combined with sadness as I knew what it meant. I was rushed to hospital and they did bloods and internals aswell as scans. The scan proved it was an etopic pregnancy in my right tube at around 6 weeks. I had to have emergency surgery to remove the pregnancy and my right tube which when I found out was in floods of tears. I’m only 21 and this got me so scared for the future. Not only this but I have a jaw op for my underbite planned next week and was worried about that also. They found out I had ruptured and I needed 3 pints of blood.

I feel an array of emotions, sadness, loss,grief and I feel angry that my baby has to be taken away when I didn’t even know. I also feel guilt, is this normal?

I’m scared of conceiving again in the future, what are people’s experiences? How easy/difficult is it with one tube?

Thank you.

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Dear HollyEllen27nov,

My heart breaks for what you’ve had to endure. Ectopic pregnancies are both physical and emotional traumas and you have been through a lot. It is natural to have a range of emotions. The most important thing is to take care and look after yourself.

Recovery from an ectopic pregnancy can take some time and is very individual. As much as I wish I could give you more certainty, as we are so unique, I am afraid there isn’t a timeframe as such. It’s important to remember that there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy. What I can say is that as the days and weeks pass, you will begin to feel more like yourself again and although the journey may be a bit of a shaky one - some days will be ok, some not so ok - please do be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the time and space that you need to heal.

You might find that using a journal is a way to get your thoughts on paper and as a way to help others to understand where you are at. Of course, you’re thoughts will ebb and flow overtime, and it can be useful as a way to process and move through this loss.

It’s very normal to have worries about trying to conceive. Many feel that way; I did and still struggle with it. With future pregnancies, it is possible to have early scans to ensure you have the right help in the beginning. On your fertility, the egg from tubeless side can be picked up by other Fallopian tube, and that means that fertility is not halved with having a Fallopian tube removed. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time. This means that rather than your fertility being halved it has been affected by around 30% or, looking at it another way, it means we have around a 70% opportunity of conception with each menstrual (period) cycle.

We understand how nerve wracking this all can be. We are here for you for emotion support too, and these Boards are a safe space for you. We here for as long as you need. Over this holiday season, please be kind to yourself and take all the time you need for your healing.

With good wishes,

Michele

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Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk

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