Hello all - my names Jules, I’m 28 from Scotland.
Finding it pretty hard to even type this, as I still can’t quite believe this has happened to me. It was two weeks ago today that I had a positive pregnancy test, and two weeks tomorrow since my surgery.
Mine was a strange case - I had the copper coil fitted for two years, so it was a complete gamble that I even took a test. They removed a cyst (they weren’t even sure if it was the pregnancy) attached to my left ovary - my tubes and everything else stayed, which I know is a blessing and feel so lucky for. My period had been light, but there was bleeding around the expected time, so I almost didn’t think twice. It honestly feels like a miracle that I tested at all.
Physically, I’m doing okay now - though in the first week I had a complication with some signs of sepsis, which was terrifying. Thankfully I’m recovering well now - HCG down to 21 as of yesterday, fingers crossed for just one more blood test in 10 days.
Emotionally though, I’m really struggling. I feel completely knocked off my feet. It’s like being back in 2020 lockdown - I’m off work, not really able to do much physically, and watching everyone else carry on with their lives (as they should). I feel so distant from my friends, like I can’t relate to anything they’re talking about or worrying about.
The shock of what’s happened is still sinking in. I find myself feeling incredibly alone, and like I can’t fully talk to anyone about it. My boyfriend has been kind, but I don’t want to weigh him down - he has a life too.
I know I’m putting pressure on myself to be ‘okay’ and get back to doing things. But this experience has really made me question the purpose of each day. I want to make the most of my time… but I also just feel so stuck.
I know these feelings will pass in time. I just needed to share today, and reach out to anyone else who might be feeling or has felt this too.
Thank you for reading.
I’m so sorry! It’s a very lonely and isolating experience! You’re not weighing anyone down by speaking about this, it’s so much to process and so much to emotionally and physically handle. Please reply if you need to talk more, it helps talking to people who understand and have been there 
Dear Julscol,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss, from your own words, I can imagine what a shock this must have been for you and I am so sorry you have had to go through this.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and its treatment, possible concerns of the future and the loss of a baby. Whether it was a planned pregnancy or not, experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Commonly emotions can start to surface more once we have been discharged from the medical care. Ectopic pregnancy can be very traumatic and it can take up.to 3months to even begin to process traumas such as these.
Journaling our thoughts and feelings can be a way of helping process emotions. Some days you will feel better than others and thats ok, but if your down days start to outweigh the good, please speak to your GP for referral for talking therapies.
We also have a call back telephone service or email support if you prefer to contact us for support this way (details below)
For now, take one day at a time, do not rush through these feelings. Be kind to yourself and allow time to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need.
Sending gentle hugs,
Karen x
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