Hello all - my names Jules, I’m 28 from Scotland.
Finding it pretty hard to even type this, as I still can’t quite believe this has happened to me. It was two weeks ago today that I had a positive pregnancy test, and two weeks tomorrow since my surgery.
Mine was a strange case - I had the copper coil fitted for two years, so it was a complete gamble that I even took a test. They removed a cyst (they weren’t even sure if it was the pregnancy) attached to my left ovary - my tubes and everything else stayed, which I know is a blessing and feel so lucky for. My period had been light, but there was bleeding around the expected time, so I almost didn’t think twice. It honestly feels like a miracle that I tested at all.
Physically, I’m doing okay now - though in the first week I had a complication with some signs of sepsis, which was terrifying. Thankfully I’m recovering well now - HCG down to 21 as of yesterday, fingers crossed for just one more blood test in 10 days.
Emotionally though, I’m really struggling. I feel completely knocked off my feet. It’s like being back in 2020 lockdown - I’m off work, not really able to do much physically, and watching everyone else carry on with their lives (as they should). I feel so distant from my friends, like I can’t relate to anything they’re talking about or worrying about.
The shock of what’s happened is still sinking in. I find myself feeling incredibly alone, and like I can’t fully talk to anyone about it. My boyfriend has been kind, but I don’t want to weigh him down - he has a life too.
I know I’m putting pressure on myself to be ‘okay’ and get back to doing things. But this experience has really made me question the purpose of each day. I want to make the most of my time… but I also just feel so stuck.
I know these feelings will pass in time. I just needed to share today, and reach out to anyone else who might be feeling or has felt this too.
Thank you for reading.
I’m so sorry! It’s a very lonely and isolating experience! You’re not weighing anyone down by speaking about this, it’s so much to process and so much to emotionally and physically handle. Please reply if you need to talk more, it helps talking to people who understand and have been there 
Dear Julscol,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss, from your own words, I can imagine what a shock this must have been for you and I am so sorry you have had to go through this.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and its treatment, possible concerns of the future and the loss of a baby. Whether it was a planned pregnancy or not, experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Commonly emotions can start to surface more once we have been discharged from the medical care. Ectopic pregnancy can be very traumatic and it can take up.to 3months to even begin to process traumas such as these.
Journaling our thoughts and feelings can be a way of helping process emotions. Some days you will feel better than others and thats ok, but if your down days start to outweigh the good, please speak to your GP for referral for talking therapies.
We also have a call back telephone service or email support if you prefer to contact us for support this way (details below)
For now, take one day at a time, do not rush through these feelings. Be kind to yourself and allow time to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need.
Sending gentle hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
Hi Jules
I have been through almost identical situation as you. However im 41 and have 4 children but i also had the copper coil in for almost 5 years, it was due to be changed in September. I was not planning any more babies.
It was a complete shock and my emotions have been all over the place. Initially they thought the ectopic was in my left fallopian tube and as i was knew I needed surgery due to internal bleeding seen on the scan i asked them to take the other fallopian tube too. (I had previously decided to have my tubes tided, Ijust hadn’t got round to it). It turned out the embryo was on my right ovary and my coil was embedded into my uterus the surgery took a further 2 hours to remove and I lost over 1Litre of blood .
Like you I am still in shock and although physically I have recovered ok, I find myself dealing with this loss hard even though it was not a planned pregnancy. I am still off work, im a midwife, i just can’t face going back to work just yet. The funeral director contacted me last week regarding the cremation which is organised, which in the rush of going to theatre i briefly remember the nurse asking me questions and signing this. Despite working in maternity my manager just doesn’t seem to understand how this has really impacted me.