Two ectopics in 7 months

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Hello Everyone

I wanted to introduce myself as I am new to this forum. I found it after seeking some support after two ectopics in 7 months. I’m 34 years old and conceived my now 2 year old son with no issues. I have a past history of appendictomy, had an infection in my placenta during birth so had an emergency c-section, and then an infection in my wound after birth. I fell pregnant last September and had my tube removed due to Ectopic #1 in November. I didn’t know I was pregnant that time around. #2 I fell pregnant in April and did know. It was very different and I was ecstatic to be pregnant. I had a sneaking suspicion something was wrong and insisted on an early scan and thorough follow up. I had methotrexate and a month later (I was 6 weeks) my hormone levels are back at zero. I’m finding the statistics after having 2 ectopics pretty overwhelming. I’m devastated by what has happened and feel pretty lonely. I feel like no one understands. I’m definitely grieving and the second ectopic was pretty dramatic with ambulance etc but they saved that tube. the impact on future fertility is what i’m struggling with the most. The stats I’ve come across suggest 50% of women who have had two are infertile and only a 25% birth rate. At this stage I’m really trying to understand why this has happened- especially after conceiving so easily the first time around. I’ve got no history of PID or STI. The only risk factors I appear to have are now 3 lots of abdominal surgery. Some days are easy and some days I just cry and feel like its so unfair. Has anyone else had two ectopics in a row and gone on to have children- either through IVF or naturally?? I guess I’m seeking some sort of hope, because I’m feeling so low about it all at the moment. Thanks in advance ladies, I’m glad to have found this forum . xxxx

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Dear 2ectopicsandcounting,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses to experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

When we consider TTC again after such losses, we experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead.

We do hear from women who have successfully conceived following multiple ectopic pregnancies and reassuringly studies suggest the chances of pregnancy are about same irrespective of type of treatment - Expectant management or medical management or surgery.

Sadly, there are no tests or investigations that can be done to assure you that you will not experience an ectopic pregnancy again. Ectopic pregnancy occurs because of some underlying damage to a fallopian tube and the cause of this damage may never be established. Doctors would usually want you to wait to try again for three months, after which, your doctor will probably encourage you to try again for 12 months if you are less than 35 or 6 months if you are over 35. Only if you do not conceive within those times would they then consider further tests and investigations. The exception to this might be if the surgeon saw something during the surgical procedure to resolve your ectopic pregnancy that they felt warranted further investigation more quickly. If you have concerns or queries, perhaps discuss possible further investigations with your GP.

We have further information on investigations here-

http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/trying-to-conceive/

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific TTC board you can look at too whenever feel ready.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Thanks so much for your kind response Karen. I am trying to seek a reason so that I may understand, but I may never get this reason! I will check out those posts and keep on reading. I appreciate your support :slight_smile:

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Hi 2ectopicsandcounting…

I found your post this evening and just had to reply to you. I haven’t conceived (‘yet’ hopefully) but just a week into IVF.

I have unfortunately had three ectopics… the first one after my tube ruptured at 8 weeks when I was 25 (unknown pregnancy resulting in me collapsing in work) leading to emergency life saving surgery and one tube removed. Another one 2 years later, the 3rd 6 months after that on my honeymoon, just as we reached the top of the IVF waitlist too… It was awful going back to the bottom as we had methotrexate so another 4 month wait to get back to appointments. It is the most soul destroying experience in the world and so… lonely… but I promise the grief is easier to bear as time goes by.

Each time has been very different for me, the first obviously was just mind blowing in its extremity but I had 2 months off work afterwards, plenty of support and help, and the second time (methotrexate) I was also very open about it and received a lot of care and love from work and friends, and of course my partner. (He had actually been on holiday the first time it happened and missed the full blinking thing, so he had a lot of making up to do) The 3rd time, just after the wedding, when everyone was expecting us to be so overjoyed and just loving life, I just didn’t have the heart to ‘let anyone down’ and my husband and I didn’t tell a soul. It resulted in a very tough time for the both of us, counselling, threats of divorce just months in, on reflection it was naive of me to expect myself to be able to deal with it by myself.

I have just started my first cycle of IVF. It is suspected my remaining tube will be blocked but I am loath to having it removed as a preventative measure… who knows what doctors will be able to to do in 5, 10 years time so I would rather carry the risk of a 4th ectopic now than have them both taken away forever. I guess once your into multiples, you can be more brazen about it? Personally the IVF has meant my mind has totally slipped from ectopics, I hardly think about it now as I have so many new things to freak out over, injections, side effects etc.

There is absolutely no reason for my scarred tubes and ectopics that anyone can give me. You could go crazy trying to find an answer, but truth is, you will never know so don’t allow it to waste you time as you will only blame yourself.

We were told that techically we are both healthy young adults, essentially in the prime of lives with no reason as to why its happened even once never mind 3 times, but unfortunately its just too dangerous for us to go ahead to try and conceive naturally ourselves. I feel quite calm going into IVF as with almost daily scans, it seems a lot ‘safer’ for me this time round under the care of the doctors. I still have about 4 weeks to go until the actual egg transfer, but I’m feeling pretty good about my chances, and hopeful for the future. While there is still a chance of ectopic with IVF, it will be less than without IVF for me as theres basically no chance of an egg making its way through my tubes as it is, so this at least bypasses that danger, even if there are still others.

I’m sorry I can’t offer you a definite confirmation of pregnancy post ectopic, but I at least have some hope, and always time to listen should you ever wish to message me. Ectopic pregnancy is a heartbreaking experience never mind multiples, which I know all too much about.

Much love to you and your family, and I hope each day gets a little easier to get through xx

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I had 2 in 6months

My first was with my husband we had 2 children my daughter was ivf my son came along natural we had planned for a 3rd.

I noticed things were not right once started to bleed my husband answer to me was until I decided if losing baby or not he would discuss it with me!! I went and had injection and that was that. My husband left me not long after.

I met a lovely guy and first time I ever slept with him feel pregnant, was a complete mixture of emotions to how stupid could I be, my husband had not long left me.

Anyway knew something up, went for scan on my own eptopic again. I didn’t feel like I had right to be sad, because it was not long after my husband had left me and really I should not have fallen pregnant by this man I just met… I tried 5 yrs for my daughter.

Anyway had injection it didn’t work, I ended up bleeding internally getting rush in, I had just ignored the pain, they removed my left tube.

2 1/2yrs on I’m still with the lovely guy but he never wanted anymore children and I’m in awful place of grieving for two babies I lost that OK were not planned but I want so bad.

I’m 36 now my partner doesn’t want any more he has one with his ex I have 2, but I can’t shake this feeling off.

I’d love to know how to switch this pain off. I feel guilty like I have no right to want them, no one understands as to everyone else they were not formed in there eyes.

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Hi

Sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancies. I’m in a similar position gave - I had my son 18 months ago no problems getting pregnant but got a pelvic infection during a long 5 day labour . This led to my two ectopics within half a year of each other and loss of both tubes. I had my last tube taken a few weeks ago and am due to start ivf in a week. Good luck with everything … it helped me readibg a quote that i felt got ne through it… ’ if you’re going through hell keep going ’ seems fitting xx

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Nm123 how is the ivf going ? Have you had your first cycle ? I start next week. Which clinic have you chosen. We’re at care Sheffield . Hope all is going well x