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I experienced my first ectopic pregnancy 10th October 2022. I learned that it was ectopic during my first scan. I had an early scan at 6 weeks as I have 4 fibroids which I was told could make falling pregnant difficult. Everything happened pretty quickly after my appointment with my doctor and I was sent to the hospital, 30 mins after arrival I was rushed in for surgery. They saved the left fallopian tube where the ectopic was located. I was devastated but went back to work a week later. I spent many days and nights crying. In January 2023 I discovered I was pregnant again. I returned to Brussels from a work trip to London and went straight to the hospital as I had started bleeding. My Hcg levels were low but the Drs said that it was fine as I was in the very early stages of pregnancy. Given my history and the fact that I had started bleeding I was required to go to the hospital every 48hrs for a blood test and ultrasound. This went on for about 3 weeks, until finally unable to locate the pregnancy and as my hcg levels had dipped and then risen again it was concluded that it was another ectopic. I had emergency surgery on 15th February 2023 and the pregnancy was found to be located in the same fallopian tube which was removed this time. Even though it has been 3 months I am numb. I recently went back to work but every fibre of my being is sad. I just wanted to post here as an outlet because I don’t think my partner, friends nor family really understand how I feel or why I am not ‘over’ it yet.

I haven’t found a community where I live to share with as a British citizen currently living in Brussels, this forum is currently my only outlet.

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Dear AniKri,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses. To experience one loss is difficult, dealing with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal. For some, ectopic pregnancy loss can be a very traumatic event and we generally say it can take up to 3 months to even begin to process trauma so please be kind to yourself.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and Zoom meetings. There’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to contact us on the details below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can also perhaps look counselling, talking therapies can be extremely useful at difficult times.We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support. These boards are a safe space to share, ask questions, or to vent. They are filled with people who have been through similar experiences and journeys, and we are here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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