Hi, so I’m new on the forums and feel that I need to release, I’m hoping writing it down will help. I had my ectopic pregnancy in April 2012 which resulted in my left tube being removed, this was my first and only pregnancy which took 18 months. It turned out by Fallopian tube was attached to my bowel and although the other was slightly stuck down it was not as bad. We have now been trying to conceive again for 14 months. Following the operation I was told by the consultant that I could be referred back to him after 6 months of trying to check my right tube was ok. This hasn’t been as easy as anticipated. I have had my bloods checked, smear up to date and checked I have no sti, all clear. My husband needs to do a sperm test which although he has agreed he seems to keep procrastinating. We have had some long chats and he wants to have children but still feels it will happen when it happens. In the mean time I can not move forward in checking my body is able to conceive. With a friend on her second pregnancy since my ectopic I am losing all hope. If I had a pound for every time I was told it will happen when it happens I would be well on my way to being able to afford ivf. Apologies for this post but if there is anyone who has had issues with ttc following an ectopic I would love to hear from you x
Hi Joanna,
I can completely understand every single word you have written. I had my EP in August 2012, lost of my right tube and had my left repaired. We have been TTC for a year now…and nothing. I went to the Dr’s 2 weeks ago and he told my husband to do a sperm test, then I have to go to have my tube checked. My husband did keep saying “it will happen bla bla bla”, but I have told him that we are not getting any younger, and before we know it, 4 years will have passed just because he doesnt want to do the sperm test!!! So, he is making an appointment for next week. My bestfriend is now trying for her 3rd, and she falls really quickly, and I know no matter how hard I try not to be, I will feel so jealous and upset that it isnt me. It sounds so selfish doesnt it.
I think you should speak to your husband again, and get things moving, so you can plan for whatever the results are. Perhaps he is worried what the results of his sperm test will be, so he is stalling?
Good luck Joanna, all the ladies on these boards are so understanding and kind, it really does help to have a rant or a vent on here to get things off your chest, there are also some very positive stories on here, with positive outcomes, which are always inspriring to read. Hang on in there xxxxxx
Thank you so much for your reply I am glad to know I’m not the only one. I know your 100% right about why he doesn’t want to get tested and I’ve spoken to him about it. A previous relationship he was in his partner had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy which he blames himself for. Your right though another chat is needed.
I don’t think your thoughts about your best friend are selfish, I think it’s perfectly natural. How ever hard you try and be happy for the ones you care about the desire and want for a child is such a strong emotion it can take over. We are after all only human. At the time of my ectopic my sister in law was pregnant and I now have a beautiful nephew. While she was pregnant I really struggled, she is 7 years younger at the time I just wanted it to be me and was completely irrational about the whole situation.
Thank you once again, I have read through some other posts this morning and can see this is a very supporting community. Good luck with your and your husbands tests. Will keep an eye out to see how things go xx
Hi JoannaA,
I had my EP and lost my left tube on Oct 29th 2012.
My partner and I decided almost instantly to TTC again.
And so far nothing at all.
I went to the GP whom advised until we have been TTC for 12 months they won’t do anything at all!
Great just what you want to hear!
I’ve researched online a lot in these last 12 months on tests ect we may need to have and one being sperm. I mentioned it to my partner and he was shocked! I totally agree with what he said as we have had 2 miscarriages and the EP. So his sperm seem to work, but he said he would go for testing. And if I’m honest when he said it I got so upset and angry, I wondered how could someone be so selfish.!
So I decided not to mention it again as I didn’t want a huge row and for us to fall out. To my surprise yesterday over dinner he asked when he needed to go and be tested! It actually shocked me.
So as hard as it seems but I think no matter how much we want that baby and I guess you want it as much as I do, sometimes it’s best to just leave it a bit, keep TTC and I’m sure he will come around to it and before you know it he will have gone and you will be able to move on to the next step of having the baby you long for.
Sorry that should have read he wouldn’t go to have his sperm tested.