*TRIGGER WARNING - Termination, Ectopic, Endometriosis* LONG POST

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Trigger warning - Termination, Ectopic & Endometriosis LONG POST.

Hello,

I’ve had a bit of an ordeal and I just need to talk to someone about it as I’m not sure how I’m feeling.

I’m 35 and discovered I was pregnant 5 weeks ago. My first pregnancy and as I’ve been going through a difficult period in my life I made the decision to have an early termination. I was estimated to be 2/3 weeks pregnant, very very early. No scan was conducted.

I did everything as instructed, however after 24 hours with no bleeding but very painful cramping and possible ectopic pains I was sent to A&E. From A&E I was referred to the EPU unit where I had bloods taken and a scan. Nothing was showing on the scan but bloods confirmed a hCG level of 124. I was told to go home and come back 2 days later for bloods but to monitor my pains for possible ectopic.

2 days later I had more bloods taken and hCG level had risen to 226, but within those 2 days I had bled at home and passed what I thought looked like pregnancy tissue, so I was expecting my hCG level to go down.

My bloods was then tested again this Thursday (4 days later) and hCG risen to over 500. I was due to fly on holiday the next day (Friday) but the hospital advised against this and wanted me in first thing Friday for a scan and more bloods. This time the scan still showed nothing but hCG of 800+ - I was now being treated with failed termination and a PUL.

I was asked to come in on Saturday for progesterone tests and to wait for results. So I did. I then met with a dr who discussed my options. Because it was a PUL and very likely to be ectopic and by this point I am going out of my mind I opted for the Laparoscopy surgery for diagnosis and treatment if required.

When I came round, the surgeon told me that they did find a very small ectopic pregnancy in my left fallopian tube and they removed the pregnancy and the tube (I was estimated 5 weeks at this point). The surgeon also discovered I have Endometriosis, which hasn’t come as a massive shock tbh as I do have really painful (but light/short) periods & bloating.

I’m now waiting to be discharged with my next steps for recovery and Endo treatment. But I’ve been asked to come in for another blood test Tuesday to ensure my hCG levels are going down.

I’m not sure how I’m feeling tbh. I opted for a termination because of my current life situation but now I can’t help feeling that there’s something wrong with me and maybe I should have just waited until I had a clear scan before making decisions. I understand I’m moving into the older mum bracket but I’m worried about the future, kids haven’t been high on my list but I’ve never ruled them out and now being older and with only one tube left and Endo I now feel like odds are against me. I have felt ok during all of this as I’ve never felt any emotional attachment, I’ve shut that human side of me out, but now I can’t help but feel numb.

Sorry if this has upset or offended anyone, I’m just giving my personal experience and choices and I’m really sorry for everyone who has been affected in their own way :heart:

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Dear Em6x,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss. Whether a planned pregnancy or not, experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and requiring surgery is a huge ordeal and you are among friends here who understand.

You really have been through such a lot in a short space of time. When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency, surgery and concerns about the future. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

There is no time frame for recovery, take each day as it comes. You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

As far as trying to conceive when you feel ready, the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years. It is also important to have an early 6 week scan with my subsequent pregnancies to make sure the pregnancy is in the right place. You can organise this yourself through your local EPU and it often gives peace of mind being under medical professionals early.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific Preparing for your Next Pregnancy board you can look at too whenever feel ready.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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