I’ve been part of this forum for a while now and I can honestly say it has helped me more than anything. I’m so sad for each and every one of us but so grateful to have this space to be able to share our stories. This is the first time I’ve written anything and I’ll try and keep it as short as possible … we had our little girl (TMFR) March 2021 and it was very traumatic, after delivery I was told there was a 1 hour window to deliver my placenta and if it didn’t happen naturally it was straight to surgery, I was left alone during the night waiting for my placenta; it didn’t naturally come so I was taken for surgery 17 hours later. I haemorrhaged during the operation and ended up having to stay in hospital for one week. I then underwent a further operation 7 weeks later as it turned out they hadn’t removed the whole placenta and I had developed an infection and ended up having to have a lot of tissue removed aswell. I was told I should be able to get pregnant again as long as a baby didn’t attach to the area that was infected as deep tissue was removed it wouldn’t be viable - but no way of ever knowing/controlling this. Fast forward to me writing this post; I got pregnant a second time and it ended in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy which resulted in emergency surgery and the removal of my pregnancy and tube. I’m absolutely broken and feel so sad that both of my pregnancies have ended in such traumatic ways and that both times my life was at risk. I wasn’t offered a bereavement midwife after my first pregnancy as the lady didn’t start her job until 2 weeks later and with my latest loss apparently the bereavement midwife currently only deals with 12 weeks or later losses. Baffles me how the NHS can’t understand it’s not as simple as that? My consultant tried to push and request for a bereavement midwife to call me and to take in to account both pregnancies but I was rejected. I have had private counselling since my first pregnancy and I do feel that it is helpful. However I’m just struggling to get my head around it all and I think still I’m in shock that right now I’m part of 2 forums (ARC and Ectopic Pregnancy) that are incredibly sad but I’m also amazed as they are filled with such strong ladies. Some how, we manage to get up and make it through each day, even when we don’t think we can. The sadness, pain and anxiety that comes with babyloss is consuming and I’ve honestly never felt a pain like it. Daily triggers that our just everyday things suddenly becoming stomach dropping, heart wrenching moments and it takes a lot of strength to sometimes face the world knowing that our babies will pop in to our heads. I love reading success stories and knowing that rainbow babies are in their mothers arms and I pray that one day that will be us all. TTC is not something that will be happening anytime soon as just thinking about it fills me with absolute fear. Being told both times it’s ‘bad luck’ just seems so cruel and hard to take. Struggling with coming up to Christmas knowing last year we talked about this year being with our baby and now suffering two losses just breaks me 
Dear CO1803,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you. I am also so sorry that you haven’t been given the help and support you deserve.
When you do feel ready to ttc, we have a specific Preparing for your next pregnancy board for you to review for support. We also advise an early pregnancy scan at 6 weeks and advise speaking to your early pregnancy unit of GP to arrange this.
For now, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team