I’m new to these hoping they will help.
I had ectopic surgery on 2.5.17. I collapsed in the early pregnancy clinic thankfully and rushed straight to theatre before anything had a chance to register.
The week before 22.4.17 I’d gone to A&E with some slight pain and bleeding. Had a scan early hours of the morning was told they saw and egg sac and yolk in the uterus. I double checked before leaving that it wasn’t ectopic, told again it wasn’t and if more pain and bleeding would prob be mc. Anyway week later severe pain but didn’t go in as thought mc and didn’t fancy A&E over the weekend so waited for epac clinic but the drama of collapse etc. Afterwards the doctor that scanned me admitted shed made a mistake and if spotted the week before I could have had other options which may have saved my tube. I’m struggling with the loss but also with the loss of my tube, am at a loss as the whether to write to hospital to complain. My husband also seems to have buried his head in the sand no talking about it from him.
Just don’t know what to do.
Xxx
Hi Rach83, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, it must all be very raw.
I had an early private scan at 8 weeks and they couldn’t see pregnancy in my uterus, so I was sent to EGU and they couldn’t see it either apart from what was potentially a small sac. They took bloods and I was told to return 48 hours later for repeat bloods to check my hcg levels. When I returned, it was evident that my first set of bloods had been lost, so they’d have nothing compare the second lot to, so I was told to return 48 hours later. I showed my consern about the loss of my blood test and was told there was probably nothing to worry about. I didn’t make it to the next blood test, because my fallopian tube ruptured and I rushed to A&E, was admitted and had emergency surgery soon after (27th March) and my tube was removed. I’d lost a ltr of blood. Afterwards I felt like the hospital could have nearly killed me by misplacing the blood sample, but they also saved my life! I’m actually kind of relieved that my tube has been removed as the pregnancy would have damaged it and the chances of it happening again in the same tube would have increased (my remaining tube looked ok), I may have felt different if the remaining tube was damaged. How was your care after the op? I couldn’t believe how amazing all the drs and nurses were.
Your husband is probably trying to be strong and perhaps worried about bringing painful emotions to the surface. Tell him you want to talk as it will help both of you move forward. If you feel strongly about complaining you should say something, or at least write an email informing someone more senior to raise awareness and help prevent something like this happening again. It takes time to heal emotionally and physically, so be kind to yourself. I’m certainly feeling more positive all the time. Xx
Rach83,
My heart goes out to you that you are having to go through such a difficult time. Ectopic pregnancy is a physical and emotional trauma. As your experience is so recent and you’ve been through so much, the most important thing to do is to look after yourself right now and give yourself the time & space to heal. These boards are filled with women sharing in similar experiences, and I too have been misdiagnosed and know the emotions that can come with that.
I’ve learned over time that men grieve differently to loss and that your partner will be hurting as well. It is important to keep the lines of communication open, and as you are able to share your feelings. You may find that writing in a journal helps to put your feelings down on paper, which might help you to share them with your partner.
While many health care professionals provide excellent levels of care, sadly we do sometimes come across instances where the care is not as we would expect. I’m sorry that you have had to go through this. In terms of your circumstances, you may be aware that you can raise your thoughts via the Patient Advice and Liaison Service or PALS. You can find your local PALS here and it may be an avenue which can help:
http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Patien … Search/363
Everyone’s path is unique to them and there are no set timeframe for emotional recovery. There are no “musts” or “shoulds” or deadlines. Grieve as you wish and cry, vent, release your emotions as you need. We will support you both during this difficult time as best we can.
With kind wishes,
Michele
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Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
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