Hi everyone,
Apologies for the long post!
My fiancé and I unexpectedly found out we were pregnant a few weeks ago. We were referred to the early pregnancy unit as the ultrasounds were not able to pick up the pregnancy even though I was still testing positive on a pregnancy test.
Upon our first appointment, the scan concluded we unfortunately had an ectopic pregnancy and was advised to conduct waitful watching as my pain was moderate. I felt I was fortunate, as I was only experiencing the odd sharp pain in my left and bleeding.
We were asked to return two days later for follow up bloods as my hormone levels were 174- and the Doctor told us the pregnancy could still be viable…which now seems incredibly insensitive for the Doctor to even state this, with such low hormones (I was 4 weeks). The night prior to our appointment I was admitted to A&E as I had significantly increased stabbing pains in my left. Although the A&E triage nurse was nice…we were not seen for 8 hours and was left without any pain relief. On my hospital notes, they stated I had abdominal pain in early pregnancy despite us explaining we had an ectopic. Luckily our second appointment was that morning in the early pregnancy unit and we went straight from A&E to the unit. The nurses we had in the unit have been incredible since our first appointment.
My hormones decreased to 110 which was positive however, the second scan concluded I had fluid and started to bleed into my abdomen. Therefore, I was admitted to surgery that day.
I am now 6 days post surgery and wanted to write a few of my personal experiences to support/advise others if possible. I had read this forum before surgery and it really helped me, as I feel information out there is limited and only those going through an ectopic will understand truly- plus it all happens so fast!
I was absolutely TERRIFIED of surgery, I was fortunate of never previously needing surgery so this was a complete new experience for me. However, although surgery is not nice or ideal, I have no complaints from the execution and the support in hospital. It was not as scary as I thought and was looked after very well. So, if anyone is scared, I know its easier said than done, but it is ok and you will be ok!<3
I was discharged the evening of- I would advise to use a wheelchair to the car, walking is ok but uncomfortable. Bumps on the road are horrendous. Rest as much as possible and really try not to do too much at home- I am fortunate I have an amazing fiancé and he has done all the house work/cooked etc but I understand not everyone is in this position. The two most frustrating things since surgery is; 1) sleeping. I love my sleep, but having to sleep on my back is painful for me and uncomfortable, so I have to prop myself up and wake up in exactly the same position. It is ridiculously infuriating. However, some people may be used to sleeping on your back! All I want to do is snuggle on my side! 2) Constipation. I am sorry for the information. However, I was not advised in hospital and had to find out the hard way. From the anaesthetic, I believe this slows your bowel movements. Therefore, I have been constipated for a few days and then was in an unbelievable amount of pain and discomfort. I would advise anyone going for surgery to ensure you have laxatives that are safe to use!
Physically, I am very bruised and hope I can learn to live with my little scars (they are very neat). However, psychologically I am so up and down! As to be expected. Night time is my worst…I cant help but think what the hell has happened? How have we got to this point where we have lost our baby? And why? Why has this happened? I am a healthy 27 year old with no risk factors associated to ectopic pregnancies. Even the nurses and doctors couldn’t provide an explanation as to why. Now with only one tube remaining, I feel I am naturally on a ‘last chance saloon’. I have read many inputs where people have had a tube removed and have gone onto have healthy pregnancies. But, I am terrified to even find out. And then the fear of having to potentially have my last tube removed if it goes wrong again, is a whole other rabbit hole I cant help but think about.
This was my first pregnancy, and the baby was so loved already. I cant help but feel so sad about everything we have lost.
I was advised to contact my GP which I have…but nothing has been said since. I feel recovery is an odd stage with not really knowing how to move forward. Does anyone know where or who I can turn to for counselling or support? I have joined a few instagram pages and have opted for a treasured tulip via the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust. But other than that we don’t know what to do now and feel as if we are in limbo. We have amazing friends and family but support from them can naturally only go so far. Although the pregnancy was unexpected, we were so ready to alter our lives completely. Now, it feels difficult to get to that original state before all of this happened.
I feel my body is never going to look or feel the same way again and it is likely to be a bumpy road ahead. I just hope everyone who is going though this or has gone through this can find some light at the end of the tunnel at some point. The hospital gave us a little memorial bag with a script about loss, a little teddy bear and a candle. We continue to light a candle every night for our baby.
Thank you.
Lot’s of love x