So I little background I had an ectopic back in July and lost my left tube. I believe I was around 6 weeks. I was signed off for two weeks and went back to work and exercise after this. I have generally been ok but have found as the months tick by and no BFP its getting harder.
I found out today that two colleagues are now expecting their second child (we have one son age 4 which I am so grateful for). One of their babies is due when our ectopic would of been which makes it hard.
After surgery I have tests to make sure there weren’t any underlying causes for it which there weren’t. So we have been left to try, which we’ve done.
However this month I have taken the lack of a BFP hard. I think I may have delayed grief in a way. I kinda want to stamp my feet and shout its not fair. I wish we had started trying sooner (even though the logical part of my mind knows this would make no difference), the age gap between my son and a potential child is growing and that upsets me although I know it shouldn’t.
Jeez I don’t know its just not fair.
I know I need to positive and try not to dwell but right now I cant seem to find my positive pants!
Other than the standard “it’ll happen” can anyone advise, give me tips/suggestions anything that might help me get out of this rut!
Thanks in advance.
Kelly
Hi Kelly,
I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I haven’t really got a lot of advice but didnt want to read and run. I also had an EP in July on the left side. I was treated with MTX however had no tests to confirm the health of my tubes so wasn’t sure of the reasons for it. How long have you been trying for since the ectopic? When we started trying again I tracked my periods and ended up temping too. I know a lot of the ladies on here use ovulation kits too. Have you tried any of these? Sorry if you have.
I am thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for a BFP soon. I am positive for you as the tests were clear and you have been pregnant before. Know that we are all here, and the ladies are so kind and helpful.
xx
Hi and thanks for replying. It took about 56 days for my first period after surgery so we tried after that so probably around August time.
I use an app called “clue” to track my periods but am not tempting.
I’ve been in two minds about using ovulation kits but would like to hear any views on them.
Thanks again for replying just struggling with my rational and irrational brain!
Hi kezzasprout. Sorry to hear of your struggles. I have no advice, but I agree. It just isn’t fair. We can understand your struggle and relate to the feelings, though. My ectopic was in February, and my right tube was removed. We’ve been ttc for six months now, and nothing has happened. I thought for SURE I’d have been pregnant again by now. But, I’m not.
All I can say is keep trying if you want to, and take a break if you feel you need to. Feel free to vent here, as we all understand.
Lily are you just tracking your periods or doing more?
It makes you wonder if your body actually works anymore. We know it did but for some reason doubt it now.
I was just tracking my period at first, since I really did think I’d get pregnant right away again, since we didn’t try long either time (mmc the first time, then the ectopic). Then I used OPKs one month, then stopped as it predicted ovulation just when I thought it was. Then last month, I used the OPKs again since my cycle changed from 28 days to 34 for no reason, and now at 31 or so days. This month, I’ve actually been tracking my temperature now as well, to see if that gives any insight. I’m wondering if I’m actually ovulating. I know it can take longer with only one tube, but I do wonder, for sure.
When they did my surgery, they said my other tube looked ok. But, I’m 39 now, and I’m being referred to a specialist to start trying to figure this out since we’ve been trying for six months.
Ah ok thanks for the info. I’m tempted to use ovulation kits just to confirm that I am ovulating when I think.
I was due on Thursday this week but came on Monday so that threw me a bit.
Are ovulation kits easy, would you recommend any?
I just wanted to say I understand your pain and can definitely relate. After my recent ectopic I’ve been a mess. My sister is due with a baby in four weeks and pretty much all of my friends are pregnant. I don’t want to see anyone or do anything. Everything triggers me. I’ve found talking to a therapist to be very valuable alongside taking up some study to keep my mind off things. Also, I’ve just joined these forums and hope to get some support from the ladies on here. I guess the hardest thing I’ve found is that people think I should be “over it” by now and should act like normal and no one understands what it’s like until they have been through it (I don’t know anyone who has been through it). Hang in there. I think we are all doing the best we can…