Still feeling anxious

Pregnant After Ectopic Pregnancy
1

Hi all,

I was just wondering if anyone else had any advice or experience that they might be able to share with me, please? I had an ectopic in October 2020 having waited to TTC for nearly 2 years because or my thyroid condition, failed expectant management and then ended up having a left salpingectomy early November. My thyroid disease then relapsed while we were waiting to start TTC again and then my periods stopped. I had a HyCoSy and was told I have PCOS and need ovulation induction and then had surgery to remove my thyroid which took some time to recover from. In between all this feeling very anxious about our chances or being able to conceive again.

Fast forward to now, we managed to fall pregnant with OI and I am currently 13+1 with the pregnancy in my uterus. It was stressful worrying about another ectopic but now I feel anxious that something else will go wrong and we will lose our baby again because of our previous experience. I can’t find any hope that things will work out for us because I was so hopeful the first time and it ended badly.

Did anyone else find they struggled with these fears and anxieties in subsequent pregnancies and any tips on how to cope, please?

Thank you!

2

Dear cable,

Congratulations on your pregnancy, especially after everything you have gone through this last year.

I genuinely understand how you are feeling and I think your post will resonate with most women who have experienced baby loss.

I was utterly convinced something would go wrong and was only able to relax to some degree after each of my scans.

Are you due another scan soon? I framed my scans and put the picture next to my bed to remind me my ‘bean’ was still in there and growing well. I think when you can start to feel movements, it helps too. Please don’t panic when everyone asks if you have felt movements if you haven’t yet (you won’t yet). They can be difficult to feel, and I think I was at least 20 weeks, possibly even 21 weeks (it was 10 years ago now, so my memory is a little rusty)

I will keep sending those positive thoughts to you in the meantime.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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3

Hi, I feel exactly the same. I’m nearly 9 weeks and I’m constantly fearing the worst. I had my ectopic last December and now I just always think it’s going to end badly. However, I went for another scan the Saturday just gone and little bean was moving and doing well. Now I just believe you have to have hope and be positive for the baby. Being negative and fearing the worst isn’t fair on them, that’s what I’m trying to focus on. I’ve stopped googling things as I found that added to my worry and made me crazy. I also keep as busy as I can so the days go quicker. Keep looking at the milestones and if you have worries contact the hospital/ midwife don’t google it as it always makes you worry. I’m so sorry for everything you have been through, I have everything crossed for you xx

4

Firstly, Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope all is well and the baby is getting stronger every day.

I read your story and wanted to reassure you, and say that I felt the exact same way as you did, when I fell pregnant - anxious, nervous, very doubtful of it being successful, everything. Now, I am currently 19w after losing my left tube in Dec 2020. I similarly had thyroid issues, which resulted in no periods and random ovulation, and I’m so sorry to hear of everything you have been through. It must not have been easy, and you are a strong woman for getting through it.

My advice on coping? You are past your first trimester, so take a deep breath, that’s the hardest bit. (I did!) Keep active, eat healthy, stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep (eat the doughnuts if you want!) and honestly, cherish your little baby, you deserve this! Miracles can happen. I keep telling myself that every single day. We have already been dealt a rubbish hand, so it’s time to enjoy & benefit from the one you have right now!

I agree with the previous posts, once you feel the movement you will feel more assured. I lost my first trimester symptoms, felt great and actually didn’t feel pregnant about 13w. But then, I started feeling flutters/fish like movements (hard to describe) at 16w, so listen to your body and watch for small changes you see very day. They creep up unexpectedly sometimes. Embrace your little growing bump and keep talking to them, that’s what I do. Also, keep your scan photo close and look at the little perfect baby you have created and are growing inside of you. It also helped, when I started buying little baby things because it will help you get excited and before you know it, you’ll be rubbing your bump whilst shopping.

I hope this helps & I want to wish you the happiest, healthiest pregnancy. You deserve it and you’ve got this! :heart:

5

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it means so much to me to hear and to know that you are also doing well but I’m also so sorry for what you have been through, it is so tough. I wish you the healthiest of pregnancies and I’m certain that you will be holding your perfect little bundles soon!

Karen my next scan is at 20 weeks for my anomaly, I’m trying not to fall into the trap of doing lots of private scans as my hospital have advised against it and I am trying to just ‘enjoy’ what I can right now.

Stayls89+ I stopped googling too, I was doing it so much and it was driving me totally up the walls with worry. I definitely feel better having stopped so thank you for that excellent advice!

Petrona40 I’ve lost most of my symptoms now at 15+1w although still feeling slightly nauseous from time to time and my reflux is awful! I think I’ve been preventing myself from buying anything pregnancy related for fear that I will have to hide it away if things go wrong, the way I did the first time around. Having said that though I barely fit into my clothes anymore (all those extra doughnuts :wink: ) so I got some maternity wear from my sister, not that I have braved actually wearing any yet!

Anyway, I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all, your messages really moved me and have made me feel so much happier and supported knowing that you guys are out there.

I hope we get there in the end to show our little ones just how much extra love we’ve stored up for them during the long wait!

6

You are so welcome. If you have any questions at all, just ask away and I will do my best to help! Also, get comfy with those maternity clothes - they are a godsend. I’ve been in mine since about 13 weeks for comfort - definitely enjoying those extra treats :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: - and I’m dreading the day I will have to go back to normal jeans & tight leggings!

Not long to go until your 20w scan, once you see that little baby wriggling away you will instantly feel more assured. Plus you’ll start getting a wee bump soon, so watching it grow every week will help too. They say the second trimester is the ‘Golden trimester’, we should soak it up before the insomnia kicks in & symptoms return.

Pregnancy is so nerve-wracking, they don’t tell you this! But it really is incredible to see what our bodies can do. We are definitely all in this together, so never feel alone. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: