I have recently had a second ectopic pregnancy. Before this, I was told I wouldn’t be able to have any more children (currently have two), and slowly began to accept this. I went from believing I couldn’t have any more children, to being pregnant, to ectopic, then surgery which saw both my tubes being removed, to being back to never being able to have children again. I’m really struggling to process the whole ordeal. I feel sad, really sad that that was my last chance, I feel guilty for feeling sad because I have two amazing children, I feel relieved that it was caught in time before endangering my life, I feel angry that this is happening to me again. My emotions are all over the place and I’m struggling to pull myself through it. I’m not sleeping well, I’m not going out much in case I get the dreaded “are you ok?” I’m not ready to go back to work, I can’t even see a time when I will be ready. How did everyone else start their healing process? Where do I begin?
Hi,
I haven’t got the answers as to how to recover but I just wanted to say you’re not alone and I can relate to how you’re feeling (although my experience is a little different). I had a miscarriage in early March, got pregnant again straight away, and found out last week it is ectopic. I also have two children, but they are teenagers from my first marriage. I am marrying my new partner in 3 weeks and we would love a family of our own. However I am 37, rapidly approaching 38, and it feels like this could well have been the last chance.
Going back to work - I really feel like you about this. I can’t bring myself to leave the house (except for hospital appointments of course) in case I see anyone I know or have to talk to anyone and risk ending up in tears. I’ve told my work I won’t be in this week, but can’t imagine being ready to be back next Monday, especially when I am likely still going to be in the process of going back and fore to hospital every couple of days (expectant management here, I was lucky to avoid surgery or treatment thus far, but still got a way to go with hormone levels).
It feels like life is going on as normal all around me, and I can’t imagine being ready to jump back into it.
Have you got supportive people around you? Have you seen there are Zoom support sessions you can join via this website? I am going to try one next week and see if it helps to talk to others who have been through the same.
Sian x