Second ectopic, absolutely devastated

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Hi all,

I am absolutely devastated and looking for some support and guidance. I had my first ectopic pregnancy removed through surgery in April this year. Following 2 weeks of expectant management my levels were still rising and after pain I was found to be bleeding significantly into my abdomen. The surgeon managed to save my tube and actually ‘milked’ the pregnancy out of the tube. I was told that my tubes looked healthy and it must have been by complete chance so they were certain it would not happen again. I even saw a specialist in the following months who confirmed this and said I could try again whenever I felt ready. In July this year we experienced an early miscarriage and once more were absolutely heartbroken. 2 weeks ago we got another positive pregnancy test and were absolutely over the moon thinking surely third time lucky. However I started bleeding on Monday and went in for an early scan only to be told that the pregnancy was once again not viable and as it could not be seen on the scan in my uterus was most likely in the same tube as before. Blood tests this week have shown my hcg to be dropping significantly and at my second scan I was told that they believed the embryo to be in my tube but was miscarrying itself. They actually used the word “lucky” when explaining that my hcg was dropping and therefore the pregnancy was resolving itself. I understand what they were trying to say but I have to say I certainly do not feel very ‘lucky’ right now.

I am so worried for the future. My husband and I have no children and very much wish to start a family together. Is there any hope? Does anybody have an advice or words of comfort? The doctors have just told us to keep trying and said that if it happens a third time they will start to investigate.

Thank you in advance. Love to all x

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Dear Nicole29,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

I too struggled with the way the medics spoke to me following my ectopic pregnancy, again saying I was ‘lucky’ and telling me the worst thing about my methotraxate injection was that I couldn’t drink alcohol! I wish I had words of comfort but I know from experience that there aren’t many. Just know that you have friends here who understand and you can talk to us whenever you need.

We certainly have had a few women recently who have posted wonderful heartwarming stories about their successful pregnancies following one and two ectopic pregnancies.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

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