Periods after ectopic

LucyB_17 · 8 May 2019 13:52

Hello all, has anybody experienced irregular periods since the ectopic? The space between my first two periods was 26 day (before surgery I had fairly regular periods between 30-32 days apart) now I am waiting for my next period and it is day 34. The last couple of weeks I have also had extreme emotions, either getting angry or feeling overwhelmed and crying. Normally I feel like this for a day or two then get my period and feel like my old self again.

Now I am on the mend and we are thinking about ttc again, I am remaining positive that everything will work out but can’t help but worry. I have PCOS and now only one Fallopian tube and am so scared that I may have to go through what I have experienced again. I am finding it quite a lonely time as many of my friends and relatives are having children.

EPT_Host_20 · 8 May 2019 21:39

Dear LucyB_17,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

Periods can take a few months to settle into a rhythm that is more normal for us, mine did too. Periods can be delayed for a number of reasons including stress or even (as surprising as it may sound) excessive exercise or weight loss. Doctors normally consider menstrual cycles of between 23-42 days to be within normal parameters, so I would continue to keep a diary of your periods and you may find that they settle soon.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time. While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

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LucyB_17 · 9 May 2019 09:56

Thanks Karen, I feel like I have grieved and recovered as much as I can from the ectopic, I only wish my period would come and I could get in to a regular cycle and stop feeling like a mad woman! I had two before so I worry why they have suddenly stopped. We all know our bodies and I know something isn’t quite right.

Lulamcgoo12 · 17 May 2019 08:23

Hello, My periods driving me nuts too.

I was diagnosed on 22nd March and my right tube was removed on 23rd. I had a few days bleeding after. 2 weeks after surgery I felt like I was ovulating… week and a half later my first period arrived. No cramps just very brown and light lasted 8 days. 2 weeks later again felt like I ovulated - in right side so was quite uncomfortable. My period was due on Wednesday 15th May - I have been crying nonstop feeling bloated spotty etc & on Tuesday light brown spotting started but it’s not amounted to anything… is this it?! I can’t deal with the crying all the time.

Lizaslife · 19 November 2019 06:27

Hello!

I am sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, my sis had big problems with the periods after the surgery, during 6 month she had not regular periods, but it was more connected with hormones, than with the effects of the surgery. So, I think, your situation is ok, but you need not to stop monitouring your condition and health.

Anyway, only now, the situation is more or less normal with my sister. That was a big shock for both of us, because we’re like one, I feel her pain like every day and I don’t know what to do.

Last half of a year every day I wake up with the only thought “if she didn’t get through it”. She is in a such deep depression, I help her as much as I can, tell her every day, that its’ a good idea to go to a psychologist, but she isn’t ready yet.

I feel myself as I should do everything for her.

I’m so sorry I’ve written everything here, but I can’t cope with it alone anymore. Thank you for that forum. Finally, I could talk out.

EPT_Host_20 · 19 November 2019 20:25

Dear Lizaslife,

I am so sorry to hear of your sisters ectopic pregnancy and loss.

The feelings you describe for your sister very understandable.

Your sister has had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that she could look into to get the help that you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if your sister would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at her pace entirely and she will be free to ask any questions that are on her mind. She can talk about the ordeal she has been through and express her feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if she would prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for her, however she wishes and for as long as she wishes.

In addition, she can ask to see a GP at her practice and ask them to explore ways in which she can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. I reached out to the Trust for support and I thank you for doing the same for your sister and we will be here for you and to lean on for as long as you need.

If you too are struggling emotionally with all of this and supporting your sister, I would also advise speaking to your GP for support for yourself.