I had an ectopic pregnancy at the end of July, I was 6 weeks pregnant and had to have my left tube removed.
I had one period since in September around 5/6 weeks after my op and I’m still waiting for my second. I used to have a 34 day cycle and I’m late now. How long does it take before cycles settle into a pattern? Should I worry if I don’t get my second period soon?
Also, I’m confused about whether to start trying again. My brain is telling me to wait until I’m physically and emotionally ready but my heart wants to fill this void and start trying again as soon as possible. I particularly feel like this now when my colleague at work announced she is pregnant and due around the time when I would have been. I will have to watch her have her baby when I should’ve been having mine. Is it normal to feel envious?
I’m so sorry to hear that you have suffered and ectopic pregnancy and loss. Your surgery was still quite recent, and during this recovery period it is so important to look after yourself. After an ectopic pregnancy, It is normal to have a mix of emotions, especially over thoughts of trying to conceive.
Many women experience changes to their menstrual cycles after an ectopic pregnancy and it can take some time to settle back into a rhythm that is more usual for you. Periods can be heavier or lighter or more painful than before - as we are so individual there isn’t necessarily a set pattern. Doctors consider menstrual cycles of between 23-42 days to be within normal parameters and, if you find that you are not within these sorts of timeframes, it would be a good idea to speak to your doctors just to be on the safe side.
I did want to advise you that in general the Trust suggests that couples to wait at least two full menstrual cycles or three months before trying to conceive again. This is to allow time for your body to heal and emotions to surface and be worked through. It is important to listen to how you and your partner are feeling. If you are considering TTC, the Trust recommends taking folic acid for at least 12 weeks prior to conception.
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. It can be difficult to be around people who are expecting or to see those with babies. This does not make us “bad” people. It is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
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I found out I was pregnant in 26th August and on 29th we found out it was ectopic and had to do keyhole surgery! (I couldn’t even get a feeling of how being pregnant feels like ). Apparently I was more than 8 weeks but I had a period in between so it’s so confusing.
It’s been 7 weeks since my surgery and I haven’t got my period yet. My tummy feels bloated n I feel like I am pregnant as the lower tummy is big now.
Why is it taking this long for period? I am really worried.
Emotions are everywhere and I end up crying and being upset all the time, I just can’t accept that we lost our first baby. On top of that when I feel down n cry and break down I get no moral support from in laws. They don’t even ask me if I am ok… is it ok to feel bad when they don’t understand what I am going through?
The surgeons pump you up with gas when they do keyhole surgery. It takes a long time to go down and I also developed baby fat which took quite a while to get rid of (and I’m still trying). It’s worth drinking peppermint tea if you can stand it as its supposed to help get rid of it. My baby was taken on 12th September so you have a time frame. It was my first and I have really struggled with feelings of isolation grief guilt. My family were OK but they acted like I was ill rather than lost my baby so I understand your situation with your in laws. Try to focus on healing yourself. Give yourself time to work through all these emotions and know that whatever you feel it’s OK because you have been through such a massive and devastating time. I have only had one period since and should have had two but another lady told me that her gp said this can happen. I hope this helps you xx