Hi I’m new. This community has been a great help.
I hope this is the right place to post this.
I am feeling very low. I’ve just finished surgery two days ago. My body hurts, I am low mentally.
I have a toddler who is just two and she doesn’t understand at all. I lost a pregnancy before this as well, so it adds on to ‘maybe I should just stop. Maybe this is my sign to stop.’ I lost my December baby, so now I’ll definitely not have another before she’s three. Thats a bigger gap than I wanted, but hey, I’m alive.
So yeah, I had bleeding a week after my pregnancy test in March and my hcg kept rising though slow and weird on my pregnancy tests, so I asked for scans, and absolutely nowhere would give me scans at all, all the private places near me are closed, and I even went to A&E with body pains and nope, nothing. They took HCG and nothing else.
I had been googling and I had so many people tell me this is how their ectopic started. I just wanted to verify. That was me at 4 weeks.
I asked my GP and she said she didn’t see a reason to schedule a scan despite the bleeding and pain, they said they were ‘limiting the amount of people who go into the hospital right now’, well.
I got to 8 weeks.
Luckily I did not burst, I asked for another HCG test and they even admitted at that point it was rising oddly, (it was over 5000!) but I am so sad! I am sad this happened. I lost my baby, I lost my body part, I feel like nobody listened until it was too late.
I’m sure a lot of you feel similar in some ways.
I feel so broken. They said if I try to get pregnant again, they will follow me immediately from the moment I get pregnant to make sure the baby is in the right place. But that will be pregnancy #4 and one child here, which hurts so much.
I’m not sure I’m ready to ever do this again, especially with the higher chance of ectopics. I’m still recovering and having to do needle injections daily is so painful emotionally and physically. I don’t know what to do anymore. Your board has been great help. Thank you.