New here after ectopic pregnancy

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1

Hi as the subject says im new here, I’ve been reading people’s experiences since I had my ectopic in November. I’ve been trying to not think about it or talk about it as i dont know anyone who has been through it… Im sort of hitting a brick wall with being told the same thing over and over again like “oh it was nature or wasn’t meant to be” in my eyes it was or it wouldn’t have conceived.

My story is and sorry for the rambling, i had “ear ache” for a week, fast heart rate, vertigo and feeling sick. I went my gp on the Friday who thought it was inner ear infection and loaded me up with medication. On the Saturday i felt dreadful and i got a really high fever and then my back began to hurt where my kidneys are. Im very stubborn and have a 2week rule if not better in 2 weeks get it checked… This pain caused me to scream for help and my partner called a ambulance. The hospital were convinced it was kidney stones however my bloods were showing pregnancy but only my bloods were. I told the doctor there was no way i was pregnant as i had my normal period 3 weeks before but regardless they said i was to go back the Monday for a scan.

Monday i went the hospital and they began the scan, 2 more doctors entered the room and i knew something wasn’t right… The doctor turned the screen and showed me the baby she said beautiful heartbeat, growing nicely around 7 weeks, but in wrong place it needs to end right now. My mouth dropped and she told ne to get dressed and someone will collect me. I walked into a empty room and i broke down, this nurse came in and told me to follow her… Down the longest corridors ever to the ward where 6 nurses were waiting. The matron shouted at the woman who brought me down as i shouldnt have walked. Within 15mins i was being rushed down to theatre as it had ruptured and 5 hours later i came around. Tube removal and 5pints of blood lost…had various doctors tell me for days straight that i need to face facts that i almost died and not to dwell not to mention mid breakdown they asked if i wanted to sign a consent form to have the baby cremated

Since then im still fighting a big infection and due to existing health conditions my recovery is taking long. I feel so lost and i suffer with brain fog anyway but the whole ordeal has made it worse and im in a state of numbness.

Sorry I’ve put so much

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Hi there,

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain as had my ectopic in November as well, I was 6 weeks a long and this was my first pregnancy (we were really excited too). It’s hard to relate with people who haven’t gotten this experience, my husband and I went through our own separate emotional rollercoasters and it was rough at first. Everyone comes to terms at their own pace so don’t rush your self. Like yourself I’m finding that recovery is taking longer than predicted. This whole experience is confusing and painful to say the least but time does heal all wounds. Hope this helps.

Warmest regards and hang in there,

Dima

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Dear Danic84,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. You have been through a huge amount in such a short space of time and it is very normal to feel overwhelmed. From your words, I can imagine how frightening the experience must have been and I am sorry you have had to go though this.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

Coming to terms with what has happened will take time. You are still in the early stages of recovery and are physically and emotionally needing to heal.

You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and can understand how lonely it feels. You have a friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.

Your feelings are completely normal however if you are struggling we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

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Hi,

Firstly so sorry to hear what you have been through.

I had an rupture eptopic 3rd September 2019 and am still of work for physical and emotional reasons.

I found out I was pregnant thought around 5-6weeks had a couple days of light bleeding but was seeing the midwife so mentioned it to her who didn’t seem concerned and if it contained to contact gp but it stopped.so I carried on as normal for 3 weeks and then what felt like and still feels like all help broke loose. Long story short…

Had pains rand midwife she said to call gp so saw her she booked me in for an earlyscan that day as she wanted to rule out and eptopic.

Had scan 3hrs later, to our surprise I was in fact 12 +1 weeks all was ok baby was healthy and heared and saw heartbeat. Got congratulated and treated for a UTI.

then 3hrs late at home I started having awful abdominal pains I couldn’t stand,catch my breath anything got partner to call 999 and got put on a 4hrs waiting list!!!

Pains gofcworse made him call 999 again to which paramedics arrived 30mins later from then it’s all about fuzzy but.

I passed out twice on wat to ambulance…got rushed to majors

Took from 6.40pm till 10.30pm 4 doctors and 5s urgeons to finally decide to scan me.

Got told baby had passed and I had some internal bleeding and was rushed to theatre.

Woke up in recovery and my now gynecologist camecto explain but kjkecyou not long woken up and on meds it was all a bit fuzzy but the end result was/is…?. I am a living mi8and should have died.

12+1 weeks pregnant.

Ruptured eptopic

Lost 6 pints of blood

Had open surgery and all my lower organs were affected by the blood loss.

2 pints blood infu4on table

In hospital 3days had another pint of blood and spent 3cmonts taking 260mg or iron tablets.

My big scar is still pretty uncomfortable and makes being normal hard and I’ve just srarted therapy for anxiety and PTSD as kept having flashbacks.

I have since found out I am the only person to have ever gone through this kind with a healthy baby at 3months not hours before they now have my permission to write papers and use photos to do more research and none of the staff had ever seen this before and of course if it helps in the future then I’m all for it.

And possibly medical papers but they will write to me and let know and ask for signed permission as it will go towards educating.

It is so difficult dealing with this but when you are one of a kind case talking about it makes it more difficult it all sounds so dramatic and over the top and it doesn’t matter how many times I get told how dam serious it asi still haven’t come to terms with it x

Here to chat xx