My sweet child. You should have been two years old this week. I think of you often. I know you would have been beautiful, sweet, and funny. I long to hold you baby. You will always be my flutterby.
My quiet child
The day I found out I had you inside me I was filled with joy
I wondered if you would be a girl or a boy
Would your eyes be green or maybe brown
Possibly the bluest blue around
I couldn’t wait to feel you move, to watch my tummy grow
To see you on an ultrasound, beautiful head to toe
I couldn’t wait to hold you the day that you would arrive
To see your beautiful body healthy and alive
Then every thing changed in a blink of an eye
I started to bleed and I started to cry
The doctors said it was too early to tell
I spent the next couple of weeks in a living hell
Then the day came for my ultrasound
But inside my womb no baby was found
But there you were off to my right
Next to my ovary attached real tight
When I saw you off to the right
And I knew things were not right
You were so quiet and still
I knew I would never fully heal
I would never hear your wonderful cries
I would never see your beautiful eyes
I would never hold your little toes or feet
And my heart no longer wanted to beat .
You would be my quiet child
Never loud, never wild
Never moving, never going
Never here, never growing
My heart just wouldnt understand
Why I couldnt hold you with my hands
So on top of my heart the heaviness piled
Mourning the death of my quiet child
What happened next I really cant say
Except my heart was broken on that very day
I had to go buy the shot they would give
To end the life that I had prayed would live
For several weeks I bled each day
My numbers went down “thats great” they would say
But not for me, it was the worst of all pains
Inside my body I wished you to remain
And then it was over and then it was done
No more baby inside my tum
My heart was torn, my dreams were broken
No more words were ever spoken.
My child that was quiet inside me
You are loved extra tenderly
I will not hold you in this lifetime
But in Heaven I will hold you all of the time
My love is with you to stay for always
In my heart forever you will stay
My love for you is strong and never mild
I love you so much My quiet child