For Clara
Locked away in a cardboard box
The faintest line of blue
Why I kept it, only I know
- A memento, my baby, of you.
Perfectly formed, a child out of place
A child whom I had to let go
Strong heartbeat, strong image, strong will to survive
Strong legacy only we know.
Sleepless nights and lost mother love,
The aching of my empty arms
The ache of not knowing all you could have been
The perfection of your newborn charms.
And more, for the future, a toddler you’d be
Delight at the first of your words,
Your first day at school in tiny uniform,
The chatter we have never heard.
A teenager, stroppy, clothes on the floor
Homework and friends and demands
All things I will miss, but I long for the most
- The touch of your perfect little hand.
A little life in a line of blue
Held only in my dreams
Now sleep is lost not to your cries
But to mourn all that you could have been.
Mummy x