My experience, any advice hugely appreciated

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1

Hello

Firstly this forum has been so helpful the past couple of weeks, I just wanted to share my current ectopic experience and ask for any words of wisdom?

Found out I was pregnant , 2 days later at work (I work in a hospital) I tried to walk off abdominal pain, sent my self to a&e as the pain was horrific. I was given lots of pain relief, and scanned to learn they can’t see baby anywhere, and they were preparing me mentally for surgery due to the pain I was in. I moved to the ward, my pain settled the following day and I spent 4 days as an inpatient whilst they monitored blood levels, 2 of those days I was not allowed to eat in case of surgery, and I was very sick with vomiting. On day 4 they ruled out a rupture due to stable levels, I’ve been returning most days and started the methotrexate injection last week. I’m due for my day 7 results in 2 days.

My main concerns are,

I can’t seem to process that I was pregnant, I even took a photo of what I thought was a pregnancy bump to find out it was bloating , and then for two days later be in this scenario.

Hospital felt so horrific, the vomiting even beat the anti sickness they gave me, I know I’ve been lucky in the fact that I didn’t need surgery but I just can’t shift the alone feeling I felt in there.

I’m wiped out by the methotrexate, I was expecting vomiting but I’ve just been hit by extreme fatigue

Im trying to be positive, but I’m so anxious about still being in the unknown, will the hormone levels drop enough on Wednesday

And finally I have to at some point return to the place this all happened to work, I’ve only been at this job a month, and whenever I see the hospital I just break down in tears, I don’t know what to say to anyone, even though my manager has been so understanding

And finally finally, I’m having horrible vivid dreams about failing pregnancies, is this normal? Is this my head processing it? Does this go with time?

So sorry it’s a long post, I’m just completely overwhelmed and lost, I know I’m so fortunate and it hasn’t rupture and I have the opportunity for the injection to work but it all just feels too much. I don’t really think there’s a point to this post, I just needed somewhere to let it all out .

Thank you and I’m so sorry for anyone else in this horrid situation :heart:

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Dear Louise,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. From your own words I can imagine what a frightening experience this was and I am sorry you have had to go through this.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy can be very traumatic and dealing with trauma can take some people three months or so to process, so please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and to heal both physically and emotionally. Some people find they need longer time off work to deal with the emotional impact and this may be more important for you as work is the place you had to go through all of this. If you need additional time off, please speak to your GP who will be able to arrange this for you.I

Many women find they are shocked by the extreme fatigue following Methotrexate injection, but this is a normal side effect. You also spent a while in hospital and probably didn’t sleep well either so please rest up as the fatigue will settle in time.

It is very difficult when we have no control over our bodies and it is a wait inbetween blood tests to check they are working. Most women only require one dose of methotrexate and it is less invasive than surgery although I appreciate it can feel like a very long drawn out process. I will be keeping everything crossed for you that the levels are dropping in your next blood test.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy can be very isolating, these boards are full of women who have had similar experiences and we will be here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

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