Hi all,
So two weeks ago i had to have a laparoscopy to remove my right tube IV had two ectopic pregnancys now one was treated with the injections and another resulting on having my tube removed both ectopics were in my right tube me and my partner are struggling i cant even let him near me i have no children and im seriously debating weather i could put my self through all this in the future i feel so guilty and i don’t no why i feel that IV let people down I’m really struggling IV also caught a infection so been in very bad pain i don’t no what to do with my self my partner is working all the time as i suppose it’s he’s way of coping I’m just scared and feel so alone I’m just scared I’m never going to be able to have my dream of becoming a mum… sorry to ramble on my friend recommended this page… xx
Hiya,
I’m so sorry for you feeling so bad. I had my right tube removed almost 4 weeks ago and it is only in the last few days that I’ve started to feel a bit better.
As hard as it is, I have come to realise there is no choice but to try and look at the positives. If you don’t, you will spend your life feeling low, potentially pushing those close to you away and struggling to move on. I bled internally with my ectopic and I try to think what the point is in my actually waking up from the op if I spend all my time feeling negative. It’s by no means easy though.
Now you’ve had your tube removed, as long as your remaining tube is healthy there is every chance you will conceive again and that it will be in the right place. Next time there is no risk of the egg going down the damaged tube as it’s no longer there. You obviously can conceive, as you have done so twice, so this is a really good sign. I guess what I’m trying to say is that these are the sorts of things you could try to focus on, as hard as it is.
I hope you start to feel better soon. I’m always happy to chat xx
Oh gosh sorry to hear about your loss it is a heartbreaking time, i no i am trying to look at the positives but it’s so hard at the minute doesn’t help when my doctor’s failed to inform the midwife who rang me today.
Thankyou so much for your kind words it’s actually cheered me up a lot and i haven’t even looked at it the way you have just explained. It’s just hard to communicate with family and my partner at the minute. My tube ruptured just before i went into surgery as had the scan in the morning and was down by the afternoon scary experience isn’t it. And thankyou so much means a lot it’s not helping with people not acting normal around me i just feel like everyone’s walking on egg shells when they speak to me. Thankyou for replying and the same goes for you if you ever need anyone to talk to I’ll be here to listen and help best i can sometimes i think its easier to talk to someone who’s been through it? I’m glad you feel better i cant wait to be able to actually do things properly again still in loads of pain. But means a lot that people are actually here to listen and support you… xxx
Oh god, how awful for the midwife to call you! Just what you need!
Yes it’s so scary. I had my surgery overnight on a Friday. I was due to go on holiday to turkey the next day. On the Thursday I went to my Gp and clearly stated I was concerned it was ectopic due to my symptoms, but she obviously thought I was being neurotic and told me to go on holiday and come back for a repeat blood test when I got back a week later. She wouldn’t refer me to epu as she said I was only just over 5 weeks so too early to scan. To cut a long story short the next day after calling Gp surgery again and the epu directly, I paid £100 for a private scan as there was no way I could go on holiday feeling so worried something was wrong and no one would listen to me or help! The scan confirmed it wasn’t in my womb, but I still had to sit in a&e for 3 hours as the epu only would see me with an NHS referral. It was just a nightmare. I do wonder had they listened to me originally would it have gotten to the point where it ruptured and I almost died from bleeding internally!
After the op I was so anxious. I couldn’t sleep and had awful panic attacks. I’ve never had one before, but my god they were terrible. I thought I was going to die all over again! I am sleeping better now, but every night I dream about pregnancy or babies. Hopefully it will stop soon.
It’s been a long four weeks, but I am finally feeling more myself and am starting to feel more positive. Like I said before I don’t think there is another choice really, it’s sink or swim and we can get through this xx
Can’t believe how bad they treated you… i just think you no your own body and when something is wrong so why they don’t take you seriously i don’t no can’t believe you had to pay to be heard there soon to tell you its life threating but not first to tell you what’s going on and it’s a good job you didn’t go by the sounds of it on holiday… Gosh at least you were heard in time tho it’s so scary to go through it really is glad your starting to feel better it’s given me a lot of hope and I’m sure we will too 
xx
I am so sorry for what you’ve both been through.
It’s really difficult for others to understand how terrifying the whole process is.
Ktd 1009 reading your message brought it all back. About a month ago I had my 2nd ectopic pregnancy. This time it resolved itself with careful monitoring but I nearly died with my first one and had to have the emergency operation. Before either of these I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I have been struggling to cope since the 2nd ectopic and had migraines and anxiety as it brought it all back of what happened the first time.
I understand what you mean about being scared to try again. I feel exactly the same. What I can say is I hit a real low about 2 weeks after this ectopic and am only now starting to feel like I am coming out the other side. I found opening up to other people has helped. I think we need to take our time to recover and that can take as long as it needs to. I really hope you start to feel more positive soon. It might sound cheesy but I try and flip it around the other way and be grateful to be alive after what we’ve been through. X
Sorry to hear about your loss, it is a scary and such an emotional time i think the thing that got me the most is when i saw the scan and the lady told me it was live i just felt like the whole room was closing in on me i was and still am a bit of a mess my partner has been supporting me in he’s own way but no one knows how to be around me and that’s making me feel worse i just feel empty and numb and with this infection it’s not helped and it doesn’t sound cheesy at all we are lucky to be alive it’s just like there saying oh it may not happen again but what if it did and i lost my other tube there is a lot to think about but at the same time could miss my chances of ever being a mum… However my mum said to me all because you didn’t give birth your still a mother and that made me smile a bit upset me more but we all are if you think about it think that sounds cheesy aha but no If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m always here as i said before sometimes it’s better to talk to people who have been through it because they no more then someone who hasn’t … Glad to hear your starting to feel a bit more better i don’t think I’ll ever get over it because i didn’t with my first but i did learn to cope xx
Thanks for your lovely message.
I know it’s super scary. It’s natural to think of the worst after what you’ve been through. It sounds like your partner wants to be there for you- maybe if u open up on how your feeling it will help as it’s difficult for those around us to understand how lost we feel:(.
I think eventually it’s worth trying again. But only when your ready - there shouldn’t be a big rush. Now the medical staff know our history they can check us really quickly to make sure everything’s ok early on.
I don’t think you ever properly get over this happening- its a trauma that at points you continue to relive.
I think we should try and stay positive that we can at least get pregnant. That’s a step further than lots of people. Meantime just try and be really kind to yourself. And if you ever want a chat I’m here. Sending big hugs Xx
A massive thankyou to you too.
It’s nice knowing people are here for each other i was a bit nervous about going on this sight but I’m glad i did
Big hugs to your self also I’m sure our times will come! Thankyou for replying it’s helping me massively xx
I’m so glad you are glad to have gone on the forum.
I think it helps a lot to be able to talk about how we feel with other people going through similar experiences (although I know each one is very different) it is really hard to open up - I certainly find it hard. I hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon. Take care and rest up X
Hi I had my op 3weeks ago and I’m still convinced I’m pregnant my tube also ruptured at 9weeks pregnant untill that day I had no idea I was expecting so I was rushed to theatre lost Mt tube my baby finding it so hard as no one seems bothered and everyone going about there normal life I am feeling very angry with the world I keep feeling a flutter in my stomach and that brings hope but I no there’s nothing there hope you ladies are all feeling better sorry for rambling on xxxx
Sorry to hear about your loss,
It’s a heartbreaking and emotional time IV found that people are like how your explaining but i think everyone has there own way of coping it’s a horrible time but as everyone says we need to be thankful to still be here. The pain will never go but I’m sure we will get through it. I personally am starting to feel a bit better in my self then I did i had a good few really bad days but I’m sure we will all get there. It is hard to get to grips with but your hormones will be everywhere and that won’t help and it’s not you rambling on its saying how you feel i hope you feel better soon i really do but just take one day at a time and here if you need a chat sending a massive hug! I no how difficult it is xxxx
Thankyou iv read that it is possible to have one in tube one in womb how true do u think this is? I didn’t really want any more children and was on contraception but now I no i had and lost a baby I’m confused xxx