Hi, this is my first time posting on here. I’m really nervous.
I had surgery for my ectopic pregnancy back in September, its now been 2 months, i had my right tube removed. I’m struggling to sleep, i either have dreams that i’m finding out i’m pregnant, or i have nightmares about what if everything had gone wrong, if i didn’t go to A&E and then normally wake up covered in sweat and pretty much having a full on panic attack. I feel so alone, I don’t know anyone else in my life that has been through this and i’m really struggling to deal with it, I’m so scared about everything, i’m also going back to work for the first time since on Monday which i think i’m stressing out over as well. I was heartbroken when i found out all of this was happening, but i’m not sure how to deal with my emotions, they seem to be getting the better of me at every given chance. I think i just need reassurance that things will get better eventually, and if anyone out there has any tips or advice on how to deal with this, i would be eternally grateful.
Hey, you aren’t alone. I’m on expectant management (watching and waiting slowly for everything to come out or absorb over a month so far) and have been off work. At one stage the being rushed into hospital and then told tonwait linger lead to a full on panic attack. I’ve previously had anxiety and this situation for a while brought it back.
Consider listening to a recording on the No Panic website when in a panic attack and you can search nocturnal panic attacks - they’re not as uncommon as you may think, I recently learnt about them through a friend.
The ectopic helpline is really good and I had a call with someone early on which was very grounding. It might be worth looking into other counselling too. But whether you do or you don’t, hold on to the fact that things won’t always feel this bad. X
Im sorry your going through this also. Im just stuck in such a hole right now. I feel so isolated, im scared of it happening again and things like thag which i guess is normal. Its just been a wirlwind of 2 months. And im still quite tender from my surgery aswell. Thank you for the website recommedation, i will look into it!
Yes maybe looking inti speaking to someone might help, at the moment i just cry after a few sentences about it so might wait until im abit more in check with myself.
Thank you for the reply. Wishing you all the best xx
Hi, I went through exactly the same thing but mine ruptured so had emergency surgery to remove my right tube after a month of having blood tests to check my hcg levels were falling after the methatrexate drug. When they operated the also found a cyst on my left ovary which they drained and fibroids. I have had a follow up appt and scan and theyve said my ovaries appear normal but the fibroid is 7cm but they are discharging me back to my GP which is a joke, no information given about fibroids or how/if they treat them, in fact they didnt seem bothered and said i could have had them years but its only this months period where i think they are starting to cause issues as i was doubled over in pain at the start of it, cramps just like when i had the ectopic which scared the life out of me and my period was very heavy so im going to go back to the GP.
Im also thinking things like what if it isnt a fibroid but something more sinister but surely when the surgeon saw it when he was doing my op (he mentioned it in his chat with me after) he would be able to see if it looked dodgy?
My head is all over the place at the mo and i might also see if i could chat to someone, i wasnt even offered that and we have been through hell and people just expect you to be back to normal. I think the aftercare and lack of info has been shocking.
You are so not alone. And by sharing your feelings you are helping others, like me, who also get that feeling of being alone about this.
In my case, it’s only been two weeks since my emergency surgery, but I am also struggling to cope with everything. During the first 10 days or so after the surgery it was enough for me to cope with just the pain, and it’s only been during the last few days that I have actually had the time and energy to really think and get in touch with my emotions around all of this.
Most nights I struggle to fall asleep, and I keep having flash backs from the surgery and the events before the surgery when I suddenly got immense stomach pain. Like you, I keep thinking, what if I hadn’t been so close to the hospital? What if the rupture in my tube had been bigger so that I had bled much faster? Those are scary thoughts to think about at night.
I don’t know if you are sleeping alone or if you have your partner or someone else with you? One of the nights when I couldn’t sleep because of this, I woke my partner up, and I insisted we talk about my thoughts. He listened patiently (although he was tired) and after just talking it all through a few times, it felt better and I managed to fall asleep. It’s not a magic trick to say “talk about it with someone” but to me that’s what I found that helps the most. By the way, I think it’s great that this Trust also has a helpline! I might call you one day, myself…
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
We are all here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
I also wanted to say you are not alone. After my Ectopic in 2016 I found things very hard. Going back to work and socialising with anyone other than my partner was a real challenge for me. I saw a counsellor and over time this helped along with keeping busy. I had also had a miscarriage before losing a tube and started to think it would never happen for us and found this all a bit too much. It is such a tough time and getting back to normal is a slow process. It was when I finally started to feel more myself that we conceived our little girl. She came from my tubeless side. I hope my story will give you a little hope. Thinking of you xxx
I sympathise with everything you have mentioned I had major surgery at 12 1/2 weeks and was devastated after nothing being found at scan, I’m 5weeks post surgery and I get sleepless nights and terrors and struggle to do very much as everything makes me anxious even more than normal as I am an anxiety sufferer, I’m petrified of something terrible happening so stay in and find any excuse not to even venture out unless to family like you emerge thought out work yet just is too much.
Even though my family and partner have been incredible I still keep a lot bottled up as I just feel like a burden and that I am moaning…this will get better and you are not alone at all I have a couple of apps that help with relaxation headspace and calm they can help might be worth giving them a go but I am right where you are and also here to talk if you ever want too drop me an email on here we can do this we can get through this…sending you big hugs and positive thoughts xx
Thank you all so much for your messages, hugs and postive thoughts, you are all amazing strong people and i wish i could hug you all! thank you for sharing you stories with me, i honestly wish you all the best, thank you for the app recommendations, i will take a look into them and see if they help.
Like some of you on here my partner has been amazing, i cannot fault him. Hes been my rock. But also know the feeling of maybe “moaning”.
Work has been extremely over whelming, everyones either asking questions cos they dont know where ive been or walking on egg shells around me because they do know. Im on a phase return as im still struggling but hoping the getting up early will also help with my sleeping problems im having.
Please any of you feel free to message me on here at any time. It would be lovely to speak to some of you as your all so amazing!
I’m returning on Monday after I think 4 weeks off - nerve wracking! How’s your phased return working? I’m not sure whether to go for less days or less hours in a day. Dreading ppl looking at me with sympathy
Phase return is going ok, im struggling. But my boss has also been great, ive told her how my head is at at the moment and shes letting me do my own thing. As the pain is still so hit and miss along with the sleep. Part of me feels like going back has helped mentally abit but also its extremely scary. People are gunna be people they are gunna ask questions and its up to you if you tell them ive told a close friend but shes known from the start, some people dont kbow how to react and some have 100 questions but its down to you! I hope your return to work goes well, in regards to hours i had a talk with my boss and we kinda came up with a plan and just take it day by day, thats all you can do xxx
